Through the Looking Glass- Our perspective

I was just reading a fellow bloggers post (Down with OZ) about Down Syndrome and the reactions and stares from others.I had to smile. I pray no one has seen us when we forget our manners.... when I see a child with Down Syndrome I wonder "do I say something?" "Do they want to be left alone?" You know the thoughts... I just nod and smile and see where it leads. Many times I think I must be thought of as "a little off" . Some lady held her child tighter after I told her how beautiful her son was...... huh......I know, these days you never know. But really? Really?

So back to my story. I read this blog and just had to share. Husband was in "big box store" (they can pay for their advertising..... no freebies here!!!!) He happened to run into Married daughter. They were chatting it up and a mother and her 18 year old daughter happened by. Husband does a double take. "Hey, she has Down Syndrome!" (or something of the sort) He is so excited, beaming from ear to ear. So, if you are a parent or family member of someone that just happens to have an extra chromosome. Just know that we dont mean to offend you. We just get so excited that we forget our manners. Really.... we have waited over a year now to bring a special little person into our family. We mean no harm..........

Awesome!

So I am posting a picture of the double rianbow I got to drive under on the way home Monday afternoon. It was so briliant as I came across the I-110 bridge I just kept laughing and telling God how awesome Magnificient and Grand He was..... I dont know..... do you think God likes hearing compliments on his artwork like I do? Well I told him anyhow..... "Man You really outdid yourself this time.... " I dont know if I have Ever seen such a vinbrant double FULL rainbow before.....I pulled over and got cell pics but weve been having trouble getting pics off the phone. Thankfully I found this pic of it on our local news website. It doesnt do it justice but I tell you........ I cant wait to meet Him! Plus the Revelation song was playing!!!!

Been having ups and downs with the adoption but that isnt slowing me down. God is still God. I am right where I am supposed to be and rest in that. Today should be "the day" the Childrens Council meets for our approval. But last week we got the call from our agency telling us that they were meeting the next day, we'd get approval and start with the next things on our list. So I called everyone and started preparations in full steam ahead mode. Was a little too quick so it was a huge blow to get the call that the Council in fact Did not meet and would meet a week later. I lost it. It wasnt pretty. So after a thorough exam at the Dr. I am moving forward.

We tried not to let it drag us down but after several nights of no sleep because of the excitement then the sadness we just werent up to celebrating much over the weekend. Yes it was our 22nd Anniversary on the 12th. I love him more now than I did then and am glad that He is the one I get to grow old with.

Our Immigrations paperwork was sent in last week and that takes 10 days to process at the Lockbox facility and then is sent on to the next office. I am not sure how long it takes there but I called and they think maybe first part of next week they will have our paperwork to start on it. Sigh.......

September first

Well we are home again after a little trip to Tampa and then Orlando. P had meetings with DJJ there and we left E with his grandparents. The Hotel was FAB! There was an Emeril restaraunt downstairs and we splurged on dinner the last night. The food was great! We took the river taxi over to City Walk and got frozen yogurt for dessert and enjoyed just being together.

While I was done I knit several small things and started a little Shrug.

P met up with some Gym buddies in Bradenton and My sister in Law and mother in law rode with us so we could go by " A Yarn Outlet" in Oneco. I was sad to find out they had more fabric than yarn. the selection was INCREDIBLE and I couldnt resist a few fat quarters, some size 2 double pointed needles and two skeins of yarn. We had taken the Jetta in to have the transmission worked on Again so I was nervous to spend more money. Needless to say it wasnt pretty, after 4 years of being a proud VW owner the novelty is wearing off.

E is starting guitar lessons to hone his skills on the Bass for youth band and we are starting 10th grade. This will be my fourth time so maybe I will learn something this go around. He is a willing and eager student so I look forward to the time we will share getting him ready for PJC.

August

Hey! When did a new month get here?!

Probably while I was still celebrating my birthday and forgetting that each new day was a tick on the calendar. So a week later and I had gained weight (too much eating out and desserts!) but my birthday was throughly celebrated and off we go to Ga for a trip to my parents. On the way there we ate Dinner at the first Chick-fil-A outside Atlanta. I had heard of it , being chick fil a fans but this wastotally by accident. I was excited as I had it on my "places to visit" list. Had a short little jaunt to Dahlonega and enjoyed the Hummingbirds, the Falls- went up for a walk on Sat. Church service on Sunday was just wonderful. They sing the old Hymns and are traditional. Whereas we are contemporary....... each has its pluses. I loved singing songs that I hadnt sang in like, ten years! ( I have to call Mom and see how service was yesterday. They were having service up at the falls! How great is that!)

We came home to finish off youth week at our church. Went to Mobile, Al and did some community service. Then they had a party in the evening. Friday they built a wheelchair ramp and then Sat several went to someones house instead of out to the beach. I guess E isnt a beach person.

While in Ga We put up green beans and peaches- since the corn wasnt ready they sent us home with corn they had put up, some peas and okra. Yummm...... But I gained even more weight! I sure hope all this housework waiting on me will help me get the extra lbs I found off!!!!!! Plus I am not like my mother. We dont have dessert every evening!

So, adoption update. Jaci sent new pictures and updates while she was in Ecuador. First off our adoption is NOT dependant on her getting her new accreditation approved. That is very good. At this rate there is no telling how long it will take them. She said the hold up was that the council was deciding the details on the home visits we are required to have post placement. That was completed at that meeting we were waiting on so she hoped things would move real fast. She was going to work on getting the I-800 done. We should hear about our grant with Show Hope the end of the month.

Waiting and sewing

Just an update. NO news yet! But adoption agency director said she would share her acid relief tablets with me.
Made little G a book to send with a story I wrote. Adoption agency director flies this weekend. Also sent the cutest little doll made by carters.
I also am working on a project called a Buttercup bag. This is another free pattern by the same Talented person that made the Itty Bitty Baby dress that I made nine of back in May for little G. I ended up sharing a few since..... well it did seem like too many..... and they are just hanging in the closet. Thankfully Hannah loves them, they fit perfect- we all know how pretty little girls feel in a dress made just for them!

Cake and even more happy thoughts!

Just wanted to let you know we are waiting to hear good news from the Childrens Council. They met on Thursday and the lawyer in Ecuador spoke with the head of the council and she said things went "excellent". She said the whole council would meet Tuesday- tomorrow and we should hear good news. Now I am not quite sure if its good news about our agencies accreditation or the "stamp of approval" for us to travel. Just one or both would be great.
Our Church's Ecuador mission group comes home today. I cant wait to see and hear of thier wonderful stories. I cant wait to see Mama Yolis for myself when we travel. She was a beautiful peorson and touched many lives. My teenagers to name a few. I sent a few gifts to the Orphanage and hope they got to "little G" safe and sound.
Im turning 39 again today so Im off to enjoy life and looking forward to the cake my husband made yesterday. (Thank you Alton Brown for the wonderful recipe! "P" is an Alton fan.......)

Thinking happy thoughts

I have just completed a beautiful knitting project Called "Mary Mary"

and the beret called "tickle" for our precious "little G".

I also started "Blossom" which will be a matching red dress.

I am just praying she doesn't grow out of another size of clothing

before we get to bring out little princess home from Ecuador.

The patterns are in a book by Louisa Harding called "Bizu bizoo".

(Means "Kisses Kisses" in French.)

I would love to knit all little girl patterns in the book

I was so excited to see the sizes went from infant to 3T.

Since I know I will be a grandma one day-"Ya- ya" I hope.

I know the book will be one that will get much use.

SO far the directions are well written and I recommend it!

Although in the hat and the dress Ive started

I am choosing to knit in the round

instead of the way the pattern is written

to eliminate the need for sewing it up in the end.

Why if its not necessary??

No news on the adoption front.

I have been doing pretty well at remaining optimistic lately

and not so many tears.

God sent me a few special pick-me-ups

this afternoon as I was helping oldest daughter get to work.

A favorite song came on "Waiting"

I was doing my best at the Karaoke as I drove.......

and there was a billboard.

"Patiently wait on God"

( I felt like the movie Eagle Eye)

Only God speaking in a HUGE voice.

I didn't know that God was really just encouraging me

before the rug got pulled out from under us.

I found out a couple had withdrew from their adoption

because their paperwork process was being difficult in Ecuador

and their agency is also having trouble getting their Hague accreditation renewal....

like our agency.

I am not sure why they decided to withdraw

when its only been 3 months since they have received their referral.

It doesn't really mean anything for us..... just FELT bad.

(this is the second family that I know of that has done this)

Then right before bed I checked my e-mail again.

(note to self: "Do not, repeat, Do Not check e-mail before bed!")

The only agency in Canada doing adoptions in Ecuador filed bankruptcy.

From what I understand this means these families have lost their money

and potential children no matter where they are in the process.

I will be making sure about the details.

Again, this means nothing for our adoption.

But it FEELS horrible.

How are we any better than they are?

I keep trusting that God has not shut the door

and we do keep taking baby steps forward.

We keep developing the character

that is what we need as an "end result"

to prepare us for eternity.

Thinking happy thoughts.

One foot in front of the other.

That is all this life is about.......

(this post was edited on March 7,2012 to add photos we had

but legally werent allowed to share)

This post has been "most visited on my blog" and I felt like adding photos

might add interest to those visiting years later.

Under His wings,

Anna

Adoption update

Lets just start this off by saying, " Yes, we are still waiting."
(I really do need to have a button made to wear when I am out)


New news for today is hopeful. My adoption agency said she recieved our daughters paperwork and is having it translated. Once that is done we can work on the last huge form sent to the USCIS (U.S. customs and Immigration services) I did call that office today to ask questions about the two forms that I need to work on and thankfully they are very efficient and she helped me immensly. So that started the day off on a good note.



Our adoption agency has recieved "little G's" papers from the lawyer in Ecuador and is sending them to be officially translated. (The translator was very moved by our adoption so I was told)Once she gets the translations we will have a phone conversation to get the rest of the last big form with the USCIS done. (I-800) That will go in the mail and once that is processed we are ready on this end to travel. I am not sure what the hold up is on the Ecuador end for our approval but until we get this done I suppose it doesnt matter. I had thought that we needed the approval to get "little G's " papers. So today I am feeling happy knowing we are taking one more little baby step closer to bringing her home!So maybe about the time we get everything together on our end they will have our approval as well! We also will hear from Show Hope about our adoption grant application and if thats Gods will we may get a grant to help pay for our travel expenses. the whole process has been beyond my wildest imagination. I have always known how BIG God is. But knowing things and living it out is so different.

Heres a sweet poem someone listed on our Adoption group. I dont know the name of the author, sorry. It is applicable for so many other places we may find ourselves waiting on God for an answer. I hope it touches someone else like it has me:

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate....
and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" My indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened?
Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked,
and Im claiming your Word."

My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'No', to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believed,
We need to but ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, Ive been asking, and this is my cry;
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again. "Wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and I grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...... for what?"

He seemed then to kneel,
and His eyes met mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give you all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldnt know me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair,
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in me.
when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
but you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

The glow of my comfort late into the night
the faith that I give you when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
from an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So,
Be silent my child.
and in time you will see,
that the greatest of gifts,
is to truly know me.

Though oft my answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "Wait."

Okay, so can I blog twice in one day???

So I am wondering if its okay to blog twice in one day?

(I guess I'll know if the blogging police show up at my doorstep.)

I just had to post pics of the sweetest little Angel. My story with Victoria started back in July two years ago. She has many health conditions CP, and infantile spasms to name a few. I took care of her from infancy until the time she was 8 months old. We thought we were going to be her parents. But God had other things for her future. I was invited to be at her adoption today and was so thankful I chose to "do the right thing". ( go and experience this beautiful day of celebration instead of staying home and licking my wounds) She even spoke out when the judge asked about signing off on the adoption papers!

Victoria holds a very special place in my heart and I am so thankful she has so many caring people in her life. I am so glad that I was able to release My desires for her, my hurt over not being her mother, so that our "little G" can have a family. Painful yes, but we have to open our hearts to love the way we have been taught. And we all know in loving someone you also become vounerable. I pray I have made a difference in this families life, in Victorias life......

God used her to teach me things about myself I never knew, and truthfully things I wanted to ignore.

Waiting

Waiting.... This is the place I find myself.
Choosing each day.
Seems like each minute, to trust God.
Choosing to enjoy the blessings God gives me and not let the good things get swallowed up by this black cloud hanging over my head. Knowing that He is God and not me. Taking that big-ness to heart and letting it pour over me instead of the lies and condemnation. Those things are not true and I have to choose to apply God's word to my heart and know he is working it out on our behalf. He hasnt allowed us to know or see what is taking so long. But that doesnt mean that it isnt HUGE.
I choose to not let this thing eat so much of my emotional energy.
I choose to wait.
And be patient.
My faith is bigger.
Gods grace is bigger.
SO if you see me on the streets remind me.....

okay...so Im expectant!

Well I thought youd enjoy me laughing at myself.
Today I spent an hour on the phone trying to get through the USCIS phone system. They claim to have operators through the hours of whatever and whatever to address questions you may have. Well I tell you, I tried but I couldnt get through the system. I tried really I did.... My husband came home early to find me in tears. How can I fill out MORE paperwork if I cant figure out what the answers are they are seeking?! Then I cried while talking to my daughter about it. Twice today before 3pm. Shoot that gives me seven more hours! I could end up dehydrated before bedtime at that rate!!!!
A church friend asked me if there was anything she could do to help. What was wrong....
My reply: "Hormones. Remember, Im expectant!"

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself to keep from crying......

Although,
I have been known to laugh and cry at the same time.........

Living today

Well June is here.

We have been having exciting adventures that involve new engines in cars and RATS!

That has kept me busy and kept me from spinning my wheels worrying about things I cannot change. We are still waiting on the council for news about our referral on our adoption. We did get our fingerprinting done on the 21st of May and enjoyed the trip to Metairie,La, French doughnuts, and a stop at The Shed in Ocean Springs,MS.(heard about it on Food Network!) The fingerprinting only took15 min for all three of us so it turned into a fun day away from the grind. We received our Approval on our fingerprinting in only a week so we are one step closer to meeting our new daughter.

So one thing I am learning. Just to live today and enjoy today. I know I have learned this once (maybe twice before!) I cannot make this adoption thing happen, I cannot change the wait. But I can change me and how I react. There are some days that the adoption is my focus.... not good. God needs to remain my focus if I am going to please Him. I cannot reflect Him if I am not focusing on him can I? So, I need to refocus and enjoy today- my routine daily tasks. Just like when my teens were babies and I felt lost in cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, and wiping runny noses. Those are not mundane tasks to be checked off lists. Today is a gift, I am still raising the next generation of my family. They are teens but they still need me to be available.(not distant and preoccupied!) I know this, just a little refocusing and a reminder........

April showers bring May flowers......

Just loving May. My hydrangeas are beautiful, planted some grass. Weve worked in the yard and I am planting flowers where the grass wont grow. ( Im not fighting with it any more!) "N" graduated from his Massage Therapy program and I am so proud.

The homeschool year is almost over. We were told the Council had our Dossier. It was mailed on Good Friday and the adoption agency was told we would get a call within two weeks to fly over to see our new daughter. Still waiting on the phone call. I know that Gods timing is perfect and will keep busy. Here are pictures of my sewing and knitting projects for those visually stimulated like me.

A new year....

Well its February and I am excited about what the new year holds for our family. If you have read my older posts you will find we are working on paperwork, and more paperwork to adopt a little girl. With being a mother, homeschooling and my other activities I just stay busy. Just recieved a new update on our little one and she started walking since our update in November. Good news, a little sad for me but I choose to focus on the good. Her caregivers have been rewarded for thier care and love. God willing we will have our chance.

Paul had eary surgery on Monday and also caught the cold our oldest brought home. So it was a long week. The house is awfully quiet this morning with everyone back to their normal schedules. We pray the new prosthetic bones settle in and give him hearing in that ear.

Blessings raining down on us!

Okay, so last week wasnt very fun. I stayed optomistic and felt like we must be doing something right for things to go so wrong. My son found out that he missed his student loan deadline. I was sitting there with him and didnt know there was a deadline! But there it was on the paper he signed. So we would have to pay off that short term loan before we could get a stafford loan and apply for classes. Then he was in an accident and wrecked my car and a huge deducatable!
So, Yesterday he came home with word that he recieved a scholarship to cover last semester and this next semester!!! YEA! Im so proud of him, it really is hard for teenagers to decide what they want to be/ do!
Things are going great on the adoption front. Met with the director from the adoption agency and things went well. We are trying to decide how to do the fundraising and get the mound of paperwork done to bring her home! A friend e-mailed me that she had 35,00 frequent flyer miles geting ready to expire and Ive heard that may be enough to buy 1 round trip ticket to Ecuador! So I guess we are going! Ha ha! Quito or bust!

picture of a painting

So this is what I painted to put on the cover of our adoption card. My mother is an artist and found book she thought would be helpful in painting faces. I tried the artists techniques on a little scrap of illustration board and it was so much fun. I cant wait to get over to hobby Lobby and get a sheet to work on the painting for Mama Yolis house. Just been homeschooling, working on adoption paperwork, knitting Christmas gifts and going to Bible study/church. ( plus cooking, cleaning, laundry and other fun stuff!)

Little Zoey

If you happen to be passing by I just read that a little friend has been diagnosed with Leukemia. I have gotten to know the family though Heathers blog so if youd like- go take a peek.
What a difference a week makes.
Be strong little one.

heres a beautiful quote for the day:



Human things must be known to be loved;

But Divine things must be loved to be known

Blaise Pascal

Dumplings anyone?

Okay, so maybe blogging isnt my calling. But I sure have been enjoying whats been on my needles. This is an overview of Octobers Projects.

Beginnings

"The Births of all things are weak and tender, and therefore we should have our eyes intent on beginnings." Montaigne

Ive been enjoying finding little inspirational quotes for the day. This one really is beautiful.
Please pray for us, we are considering starting the paperwork to adopt the most beautiful little girl from an Orphanage far away. It is a huge leap of faith.

My painting is done!

I have been working on a commission piece for 6-8 months and Im done. It turned out nicely and I am glad Julie is pleased. I have also been knitting a wedding gift and have that done. The wedding was in Tallahassee on Saturday Oct. 4th and was so beautiful. It was outdoors and the weather was perfect. The bride and groom are so in love and happy. A joy to be there. I loved the lights, the moon in the sky, great music, great food, wine, and watching the family and friends laugh and talk. I hated to leave. But all good things must come to an end. Paul and I enjoyed staying over just the two of us and drove home the next day.