I've been getting to know some ladies that have adopted children that are blind.
This has been quite healing for me.
It feels good that our story has purpose.
Some of the emotions these mamas are having,
I can say, " I felt the same way" and truly mean it.
Or, " I understand". And I really do.
I have been wanting to read Helen Keller's Biography
And possibly Anne Sullivan's as well.
A mom was sharing that she was almost done reading Helen Keller's biography
And it reminded me of a story, something that happened at Christmas.
Maybe it will shed some light on our journey.
At Christmas time we were at my parents house
to celebrate with family and also included a visit / check up at Emory.
it was a beautiful day and we decided to take the children out to play
my sister and I were going to play with out cameras.
We get out to the blueberry patch and Lil G keeps screeching and dropping down onto all fours. The terrain is pretty tough and I was doing my best to keep us from falling
I felt myself loosing patience.
Walk Lil G! Walk!
I couldn't figure out what in the heck was setting her off.
Finally I stopped,
and crouched down,
truthfully to set her straight.
but then something happened.
Perspective.
My eyes were opened.
You see, when I got down at her eye level
I realized she was freaking out because of the tall golden grass.
When the breeze blew it didn't make noise but moved
and it was taller than she is!
She had no idea what it was!
I started laughing and pulled off a stalk to show her
I kept telling her it was okay it was just yellow grass.
I laughed until I cried -and I have to confide
the Mama sat down on the ground and just started sobbing.
The enormity of the situation just overwhelmed me,
we had only had the "legally blind with her glasses" diagnosis
since her visit in September -so this was only 3 months out.
Then add the guilt that I had lost my patience.
My husband saw me on the ground in the field
and came out to see what was wrong.
Together we held Graces hands and rubbed the grass on it
trying to reassure her it was only grass.
(she didnt believe us and was like a feral cat
I said to him, " we are having an Anne Sullivan Hellen Keller moment here"
Of course since then I have read and studied,
we should never force our children to feel things or grab their hands.
Lord forgive me,
this whole parenting adventure,
pure grace indeed.
( I've added photos from Christmas- Lil Gs big sister came home so we had a tea party.
And we watched TV at Grammies house with cousins)
This was good timing for me today, my friend. I am reeling a bit from an unexpected diagnosis for our little guy. I keep reminding myself that we knew there would be "unknowns" but I'm not very convincing. Your girl is blessed to have you for a mama, but I know that you are so blessed, as well! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteTara, just like the children we gave birth to there are unknowns. Parenting is different but when we boil it all down- it's the same. We have ups and downs, fears and failures, moments we wish we weren't the mommy anymore, burned out, but most importantly human and depending on God, family, friends and faith to get us through this.
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