Friday, December 31, 2010

Thank you

Just two little words.....
"thank you"
But those two little words mean alot especially when they are heart felt.

Scenario: Little G has her first illness. Husband was sick on Christmas with a horrible cold that is making the rounds.
Three days ago little G started with it.
She is such a pleasant child.
No whining.
No crying.
Just lots of mucus and snuggle time.
You know she isnt well when she isnt moving constantly!
She woke up from her nap early today- another sign that she is not herself.(as well as not eating with her usual gusto!)
I fixed her a cup of juice to which she jumped up and down squealing and signing "juice! Juice!" I can tell exactly what she is signing without looking because I know her so well..... the sound is like "vwhoosh vwhoosh". I put some cheese-its in her cute Ikea bowl and sat her in her beanbag to watch Sesame street. She got done with her snack and brought me the empty bowl.
Went back
watched a few mins
only to turn around
come back to sign
"thank you".
Brought tears to my eyes.
She was thanking me for her snack.

Scenario 2:
right before bed,
prayers are said/signed
a book is read
I tell her "I love you! I love my little G!"
as I press the sign I love you onto her heart.
She signed it back to me......
she cant hold the pinky up with the other fingers
I knew
she was telling me
she loved me.......

I am so blessed.
I am humbled daily.....
This is just so beautiful.

Oh, before I close for the night.... Happy New Year!!!!

I remain,
Under His wings,

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A quiet house????

I just want to say,
Its kinda funny when you post on Facebook, " the house is so quiet" - only to realize that your child has five, yes F-I-V-E toys playing sounds and music
all at once.....

My how things can change in a blink of an eye.
Last Christmas and this Years Christmas looked nothing alike. My Middle child has sprouted wings and flown out of the nest and proposed to his girlfriend and little G is home......
I wanted to pause from my knitting to post some pictures
We celebrated Christmas with our children on Sunday evening. Fried turkey, Corn casserole, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. I made three kinds of cookies and husband made home made egg nog- another Alton Brown recipe. If youve never had it you should really give it a try.( This was without the burbon of course......)
My heart is full......
We are so thankful
for our home,
Our family and friends,
and the many many blessings God gives us daily.

Im closing today with a funny pic.....
Ive mentioned this before and actually had the camera to get a photo of it:
Little G is calling her Papa at work on the remote...... its the funniest thing!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A Quiet house

I just want to say,
Its kinda funny when you post on Facebook, " the house is so quiet" - only to realize that your child has five, yes F-I-V-E toys playing sounds and music at once.....

My how things can change in a blink of an eye.
Last Christmas and this Years Christmas looked nothing alike. My Middle child has sprouted wings and flown out of the nest and proposed to his girlfriend and little G is home......
I wanted to pause from my knitting to post some pictures
We celebrated Christmas with our children on Sunday evening. Fried turkey, Corn casserole, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. I made three kinds of cookies and husband made home made egg nog- another Alton Brown recipe. If youve never had it you should really give it a try.( This was without the burbon of course......)
My heart is full......
We ae so thankful for our home,
Our family and friends,
and the many many blessings God gives us daily.

Im closing today with a funny pic.....
Ive mentioned this before and actually had the camera to get a photo of it:
Little G is calling her Papa at work on the remote...... its the funniest thing!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve

These two pictures were taken the first week in December when we went to see the lights in downtown Milton. Grace seems to be wondering how it can be so cold in Florida.......

This is my oldest daughter with little G. She and her husband volunteered and dressed up as Elves the first part of the month.....

Tuesday night we took the whole family to see the new Narnia movie. Was so much fun. I did a huge southern meal, fried cube steaks biscuits, veggies and white gravy before we went..... You shouldve heard G squealing with delight and signing at things she recognized during the movie. I hid her eyes during a scary part and it was so funny for her to sign scared and Grouchy at the sea monster when I wasnt quick enough!!! There were so many moments we were laughing at her antics.

Well.... papa isnt feeling well.
So we are home.
Not what I expected for Christmas Eve.
We usually go to candlelight service....
Had the dress, the tights, the hairbow......
Seems like all the traditions that I find security in have been stirred around and turned into something quite new. But I trust that it will still be Christmas with or without them! More years than not we have loaded up in the car and driven to my parents. (or his parents, or some years BOTH- with one family for part and the other for the rest!) But with our new addition and the serious work of "bonding" and "attaching" we decided early on that we would be home ALOT for at LEAST the next six months. it hasnt been easy. But we are dedicated to what is best for our sweet litle G..... and she is doing splendidly as a result.
We went to see a ship docked in the docks in Downtown Pensacola Thursday morning called the Peacemaker. Was beautiful. Grace kept signing "water" and "happy". It was a beautiful day.
No matter the sacrifices.
She is worth it.
Dear friends.
The waiting.....
waiting for the arrival of Christ,
Christ in Christmas......
Leading up to a New Year and Lent.....
the sacrifice......
He looks at each one of us thinking the same thing I think when I see her......
"No matter what the cost......
You are loved,
You are wanted,
I want to be with you in eternity.
I want to have a real relationship with you.
You matter......."
He wanted us all to be adopted.....
grafted into the vine.....
A hope and a future......
My heart is full.
THIS is what Christmas eve looks like tonight.

Isnt it beautiful........

I remain Under His wings,

Monday, December 20, 2010

can we be friends?

I mentioned last week that little G has a little "friend" at church. This little girl is Gs age and has a uncle with Down Synrome. She asks her mom and grandma each Sunday if she can play with little G. Last Sunday it was so so sweet to watch the two little ones in their Sunday best playing ring around the rosie at the base of the Christmon tree.(her Grandma had a camera and took photos of them. I hope there was a good one or two.) I will remember to bring my camera to take lots of photos on Christmas eve.( I might even have to buy her a little gift..... "from little G".)
WHile I was watching them play and enjoying the moment my introspective self took over. I could see all the other little girls dressed in their best exchanging gifts and hugs and I wondered.
As time goes on the gap will grow.
It will become more and more obvious how behind she is..... what will it look like when all the other little girls graduate high school and go off to college, have boyfriends and get married?
Right now she can get away with being immature.
She looks small for her age.
Its not so obvious.
What does the future look like for G.
Will she have "friends"? Little girls that will enjoy her for who she is. Little Girls that will invite her to birthday parties and share secrets in the dark with and friends that will be there when we are gone?
Then I read this post today.
Just felt like I needed to share what was on my mind.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The "perfect" Christmas

My pastor is doing a series about the idea of having a "perfect" Christmas. Many of the topics have included loosing a job, financial hardships, Losing a loved one....... you know, we are living in the real world and its not going to be "perfect". Its been a very practical and appropriate topic.

It got me to thinking.....
I was looking at a nativity- I have a small collection.
I thought to myself," Did things go as Mary had planed?" She knew the child she was carrying was the Messiah. Do you think she expected to deliver her child in a stable? To lie THE MESSIAH in a manger? Please correct me if I am wrong. But I think that even the first Christmas wasnt "perfect" as we would think of what "perfect" looks like. What made the first Christmas "perfect" was that the Savior was part of it........

Thats all it takes.

I could be raised in faith
but there are still things that havent "clicked"......
I am glad that its new every day.

A good day... and some randomness

G and I went out with my Oldest daughter.
It was a beautiful day.
Started out just looking for a local that makes beautiful wood crafts.
Ended up at the Antique store and had a beautiful time.(they had handmade wooden cypress swings hanging outside) I dont know wht it is about antique shoppes but this just really hit "that spot".

Picked up son and made gingerbread cookies and iced them for Daughters students. (student teaching)

Got a bit of knitting done between batches.

Finished reading a great book I'm reviewing last night.......

Knit some more, the pattern changed and I realized I was off count and would have to rip all I had knit that hour. Put knitting down and went to bed. It was 2am so probably a good thing.

Been in a funk.( Making mental note to self to remember to take all the extra vitamins in the cabinet.) I think some of our experiences have really done something to my heart. Please forgive me if I am letting you down...... trying to figure out who I am.... still..... trying to sort out how you travel thousands of miles away and live a completely different lifestyle for two months, come home with a new daughter and remain the same person you were. I get the fact that I am probably not supposed to be "her " anymore. But I have to figure out how to be "me". We always kept Christmas low key. We had a real hard financial time and realized some great things. But this year it feels even more "different"....

I got to the post office with daughter yesterday. Had been on my to-do list for two weeks.... to mail my mother my old cell, she dropped hers while shutting tailgate of the truck......crunch..... needless to say.... no cell phone.......was thankful after a half hour standing in line that I had 11 stamps in my wallet, because the card machine was broken and the reason for the wait. God is so faithful......

So Im just wondering.....

Did I loose two months of my life?
The calendar still reads November on the fridge(write on wipe off one)
The one on the wall is still showing June (thats when we flew to Ecuador)
Is that why my Brain feels like I am stuck somewhere else.
Did I expect things to stop without me and pick back up when I got home.....
I am going through the motions and just not getting where I need to be.

I have been getting alot of pleasure out of my knitting.

I was watching G eat her cereal with her red and green plaid pjs on and thought to self. I bought those after season in Jan of 2008 for Dec of 2009...... just knew shed be home by then. My heart smiled to see the little bare feet swinging uner the table. Her Gymboree things in 3T still fit. I pulled the tags off the winter stuff that we didnt take to Ecuador........ enjoyed seeing her wearing the cute things that waited so long in the closet.... amazed they fit. She is saying so much and signing like crazy........ I want to video her signing a song...... mind boggling.
where we were.......
where we are......

On another note.
Recieved a phone call Monday.
Ive been asked to Mentor a youg lady in the foster care system that was recently released from detention. She has an interest in Art. I accepted the offer and will meet her after the first of the year.

In laws called yesterday and wont be coming on Monday for Christmas.
He is too sick to travel..... sigh....

Off to knit.
well un-knit.
THEN knit.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Monday catch up kind of post.....

WIth not being on the computer for the weekend it leaves Monday while little G is napping as catch up time......
We had a little warm front come through on Saturday and little G snuck outside while husband was busy. I had started a very special knitting project (after making mysef cast off two completed projects)and was still in my pjs.
I scrambled into something more appropriate and joined her.......
She had such a great time signing and saying "happy" appy.... appy appy apppy. Was SO SO cute as she toddled around. I had brought a plastic rainstick toy and her small dora ball for her to hit around the yard. She would kick it and sign "again" and before the end of playtime was actually saying something pretty close to again! We have a swing hanging in the back yard and the two of us took a break and enjoyed the warmth. She then "said"/ signed. "Again, Ball, down...." so I immediately helped her down as we were off playing with the improvised bat and ball. HUGE- three words to communicate a thought.
I have mentioned that she has gotten a little more opinionated about how and when she likes things havent I? Well, she started throwing the ball overhand and I asked her to look at what she was doing. Repeating myself over and over as she squinted her eyes and turned her head to the side. English, spanish... didnt matter. She was going to do it her way. I tried putting my finger under her chin while coaxing her to watch, look, see where the ball is going. She stubbornly pushed her jaw downwards touching her chest.I tried again. Huh?! SO I repeated my self and pushed her jaw up.Raising my voice I encouraged her to "Look watch the ball!". Next thing I knew she wasy crying!! Loud sobbing with real tears. I was in SHOCK to say the least and DH came running out of the house like something horrible happened. The only thing we could figure was that I had hurt her feelings. (I felt like pond scum to say the least.) G never cries. let me repeat, G NEVER CRIES. I can get onto her, she can fall with a good thump, skin her knees. She just sucks it up and acts like she has no feeling. ( I know if I counted it would be a total of MAYBE 5 times that she has fallen and hurt herself bad enough to cry.)
DH was so excited that she really cried over hurt feelings.
Maybe we have hit a huge milestone.......

Sunday was Church in the morning and we hardly paid any attention as we watched her sign to the music. I kept thinking I really needed to learn more words, get the music minister to let me know what we were singing that week to learn the signs in advance or find SOMEONE that could interpret for us. I know that she wont know the signs they are using but she learns so quickly and is trying so hard! They were singing and she was signing "Jesus Jesus, Hat hat hat..... baby, baby, Jesus....."You get the picture. too cute.( The hat part.... I had knit her a hat that she was proudly wearing.) I signed as many of the words as I knew, maybe every 5th or 6th word. sigh. I was embarassed to learn after service that a friend happened to be there that interprets and was watching. I mentioned to her that I was wishing she was there to sign for us...... After service we had a crowd around us again. A sweet little one was so excited to see Grace begged DH to put G down so she could play with her. I wish so badly that I had my camera with me. Two little ones playing ring around the rosie at the base of the HUGE Christmon tree in the foyer. I welled up with tears as others smiled and watched. She ended up "talking someone out of a cookie". Promptly started eating it as we made our way to the car... I could hear her over P's shoulder, "nummie nummie nummie....."
Had the older children home for SUnday night supper again. daughter surprised us with desert. We watched Extreme home makeover.... it was finally the reveal of the house in Pensacola. Daughter was blessed to be able to help with the sewing projects in the girls room. She is proud of her blue shirt. They were actually having to turn people away because so many from the community showed up to help.

I was thinking I might have to make a list of things I am thankful for.....
I didnt get it typed out over Thanksgiving Holiday.
Maybe it would be okay to regress...

I remain,
Under His wings,

Monday, December 6, 2010

Lazy Monday

Nice lazy day.
Hubby home sick.
Just saying a prayer that Miss G doesnt get it.
I know that she will end up coming down with Flus and viruses.
But I just wish not...
We had the kids home last night for Sunday evening supper and P fried a turkey, I made potatoes and green bean casserole..... the finale was Betty Crocker recipe for Apple Crisp. My "go-to desert". P made homemade whipped cream to top it all off.

So tonight I am making this. I hope it sits well with P's tummy.

Im making little G a Santa Baby hat from a Ravelry pattern..... cant wait to see how it comes out..... then to make baby cocoon to look like maybe a santa bag and an infant Santa Baby hat to go with it for my Friend. I got a little distracted.... was going to knit the cocoon and knew little G had to have the hat. I have two cocoons knit up, need to get buttons on one......
She begged all Sunday morning for a hat to wear.....
she is definately a hat person.
I will be happy to oblige her....
Februrary beret. A pattern I made using Elizabeth Zimmermans gull pattern.
Baby sweater and hat

I remain,
Under His wings,

Thursday, December 2, 2010

self control.....

Missy at "its almost naptime" posted this link.
I am glad I took the time to listen to the whole message.

Quotes from Josh Harris' message on Proverbs.

"Proverbs 24:30-31 Josh version...." a little web surfing, a little facebook, a little folding of the hands around my smart phone...... leading to spiritual poverty.

Where do I need to grow in self control???

"This is a newer area of our life and one maybe we havent given much thought and attention to. The world is at a rapid pace developing new ways to fuel our lack of self control and waste our time. WE need to be busy about deveoping new ways to be self controlled and rest in God."

A good read,
a good message.
My commitment to only spend
one hour
per weekday.
Not doing so good on that one.

I am so thankful.......
for a Patient God,
that offers forgiveness
not just once.....
that allows us to wander back
ready to try again.
I waited too long to be a mother again
I have to many gifts
and talents
My house aint clean enough
to spend more than an hour
Its the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.
Thanks Missy for sharing.

I remain,
Under His wings,

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

As promised.... birthday photos

I mentioned little G had a birthday when I went missing from blogland.
November 24th she turned 5 years old.

Incredible cake made by her big sister.

It was beautiful.
Lots of family.
not too many gifts.....

Just the way I like it.
God had it orchestrated so that my whole family was there.
just right.
These are all the pictures I took. I cant wait to see the ones taken by my sisters with their new cameras.

I know this one is HORRIBLY blurry. But I just had to try to get a picture of her sleeping after such a BIG day. Without a flash...... I just cant hold still for the camera to gather enough light without a tripod.

Monday, November 29, 2010

in the meantime.......

I am working on some adoption follow up stuff, have a post to get together with Pics for Thanksgiving and little G's birthday. Was so sick last week..... and all the family came to celebrate with my grandpa. So we ended up having a beautiful birthday celebration. It was quite overwhelming for the birthday girl but she handled it rather well.......

In the meantime please go take a peek at Connie Wenks photo book at her blog. Make sure you enable the music player. ( I had never visited a blog set up like this, it took me awhile to figure out that you click on the boxes to get to each little category...... ha ha!) Please go take a peek. It was just marvelous......

I know we have so so much to be thankful for......
it was wonderful to pause......
and give God the Thanks he is due.....
I am so glad he is so close.....

Under His wings,

Friday, November 19, 2010

Where oh where has the week gone?

Im just saying.....
If Ive promised to call you.
Or wanted to meet you at the park.
Talked about going to the theatre together.
Talked about doing lunch "next week".
You are not the only one that I have flaked out on.
"new to mothering a 4 year old".
Being sick.
I am just treading water.

My grandpa called ysterday about Thanksgiving plans and the first words out of his mouth were,"I thought you were going to come visit me over a week ago."

I have a girlfriend that has been so so good to me over the years. Her daughter was my sons first love....... I told her I would stop by, never showed up, didnt call. Two weeks later she calls and is so so sweet and offered grace and mercy.
I just keep flaking out.

But with this cold,
and a toddler....
learned new signs and songs this week,
Ive read new books before bedtime,
and cooked supper from scratch every night but last night....
Ive played play dough,
and played with Mega blocks,
baby dolls,
drew with glowing markers,
Took G on a leaf- hunt
Reorganized Gs closet (again),
steam cleaned Sons old rooms carpets,
been on the phone with it seems like EVERYONE trying to figure out what we are going to do about Thanksgiving,(dont ask)
Gone to an airshow Thursday night......

(and watched little G as she tried to sing God bless America during the fireworks)

husbands powerlifting meet all day Saturday- he set 2 APA records!!!!

Held her while she signed "Jesus" at church with the music......
scrubbed the dining room floors twice,(dont ask.......)
Handcleaned the wool rugs by the couch,
bleached some whites in the sink,
Took down curtains to shake out the dust and wash.
took the blinds in the backroom down but they are still in the tub (ugh, waiting)......
Knit a baby hat.... well come to think of it I knit two this week to go with baby sweaters I knit....
Read a book to review....
Homeschooled E in Language arts during Gs naptime each afternoon...
Started knitting a baby cocoon ....
Stayed up till 2 am coughing 3 nights in a row......
Woke up this rning when the alarm went off only to realize that we had to leave the house in 20 mins to get to G's first OT appt. and I HAD to shower first.(I did it but it wasnt pretty)

Im just treading water people......
As I look at the list I can see that even tho I FEEL like Im not getting anything done.
I am.
I feel so human.
SO imperfect.....
If Ive neglected you,
I am so so sorry.....
really I am.....

Under His wings,

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

just this one thing.........

I have been following other blogs out there and just love reading what other people are thinking and feeling. What they are sewing, and knitting, the sales, and coupon deals..... I got a sweet e-mail this morning about my post on "being real" and then I read a post on another blog and it brought up something that I havent been talking about......
Something that I really dont want to think about.

Mind if I ramble along a bit?

There is this dream.
There is this thought......
But as soon as my heart feels it.
As soon as my brain thinks it.
I shut down.
There is NO WAY I should think this thought.
This shouldnt be on the radar.
Stop thinking about this.
Dont start this merry-go -round.
You cannot dream this dream and think this thought.

Imagine what it must feel like to have a gift, a talent,and each time you think about writing, or painting...... being creative. Someone yells loudly,

"NOOOOOoooooo!!! You cant paint(or insert hobby here) any more.

Then the list in your head starts why this cant be a reality.(heres my pretend list)
You never went to art school. You have three grown children that need you. What about little G!? She has only been home a few months and she has down syndrome you know. She needs you. If you get out the brushes and paint you wont be able to give her all the attention she needs. You know once you start a painting how distrated you get. You surely wont have time to knit, or do fun girl things with your daughter...... the list gets longer and longer.House isnt clean enough, you havent lost weight...... you know what Im talking about dont you.

I dont share the yearning
to pick up the brushes,
or sit at the computer and write....
whatever that yearning,
that dream is.

I just dont like not even being able to be true with myself.

Whats the point
in being an artist
if I cant create?
Why would God give me the talent without the ability.......

Im just saying,
Whats the point of me rambling on and on about being real,
when I dont even know how to be real with myself.
On just this one thing.
Dont ask me to talk about it when I cant even think it.

I remain,
Under His wings,

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Most recent read, "Amy Inspired"

A review, "Amy Inspired" written by Bethany Pierce
How many of us had goals and dreams in childhood
that seemed to get lost in the shuffle?
One day
stops you
dead in your tracks
and leaves you to wonder,
"How did I get here?"
Where has all the time gone????
I thought by (insert age here) Id have it all figured out.

The dream of becoming an artist
now lodged between
being a wife,
Where does the dream fit?

I enjoyed reading Amy's story.

She gave up her career to go back to school and do what she delighted in... only the dream and the reality didnt match. (I can completely comprehend!)Amy was also figuring out where her faith fit in the reality. What does being a christian, follower of Christ, require of me in these situations.

Amy, waiting for "Mr right" while her brother announces his plans of getting married- To struggle
for things that on the outside
look like they come easily in others lives ...
her brother finding
and a career
that has prestige at the end of the path instead of waking up mid-class wondering how she got there.... and add her friend's published works.
Isnt that whow we all feel?
Watching others' lives taking on this air of perfection while we make lists that taunt us
make us feel more worthy????

I found my own life connecing with Amy's on so many levels even though they are drastically different.
At the core,
when all the other stuff is stripped away
we are all on the same path
in one stage
or another.
I loved how Amy's mother would get quotes and -isms confused. Where words are a part of who Amy IS, and her work.... they almost seem foriegn to her own mother. Dont we all have that someone in our life that cant comprehend what we are trying to say?(adopt a child when yours are practically gorwn? A child with special needs?) They cant understand our dream? The one that cant love us in the way we need to be loved????
The words on the pages were like music ringing true in my ears,
flowing from one page to the next effortlessly.
How long has it been that I ve read a book where the characters and their lives rang so true?
Not just words on a page blending together to make a story...
But real thoughts and feelings,
like they were wearing skin.
You know, the good the bad and the ugly of life? She included drug usage,physical abuse and the havoc it wreaks on a family. Amy, taking a pledge to remain sexually pure and how that fit into reality for a now almost 30 year old woman....
Amy learned to stay true to her values in situations that many of us might have failed. I believe, to be considered a christian novel..... this is a huge step. Not painting perfect characters with maybe a trial or two but nothing deep and real. Amy didnt have to go around quoting scripture on every page to be a Christian. In her "acting out" of her faith she too was changed.
I have found this to be true in my own lfe.
Sometimes its not just about the end result,
its the process.
All those rejected manuscripts
leading to a place of inspiration......
it wasnt all about her.....
(and maybe its not about me....)

I hope you enjoy reading my review.
(you can also read reviews or purchase the book on Amazon.)
I also hope you dont mind wandering along the rabbit trails in my head and heart as I meander along the way......

I remain,
Under His wings,

Monday, November 8, 2010

Remember the Orphans

If you have been to an orphanage like our family has, you will know firsthand what I am talking about. It seems so small just to share the word about how many orphans are out there. Just talking or typing doesnt seem to do much in the big scheme of things. But I am praying that talking about it just might be the impetus for change. That others that have a heart for children will stop dreaming and start doing. If you bear with me, at the end of this post you will see a way YOU can help make a difference in an orphans life... yes you!!!!!

Yesterday was remember the orphan Sunday. Ive been trying to commit to no computer on weekends so yesterdays post is a day late.
Here it is:
I have been struggling with feelings and thoughts since returning home from Ecuador. I was so thankful that our adoption agency director called to check on us last week. I had some unanswered questions. I have this deep desire to know our daughter before she was ours.
I think its like when you are falling in love.
You want to know all you can about this special someone-your sweetheart.
Their childhood, their family and their dreams for the future........
remember those phone converstations that went on for hours.....
She is my daughter.
She has my middle and last name.
But I cannot ask her these questions.
We are gradually teaching her our language.
Giving her a way to share with us.
But for now.
I am just groping around in the dark.
I wish I could understand how she got here....
I am trying to put the puzzle together
that is a hard task......

So our adoption agency director said that I was remembering G in Ecuador correctly. Busy busy busy..... She was grinding her teeth all the time and the only vocalizations were gutteral noises she made way down in her throat.
that is the G I remember.
I remember that first day....
I was scared.
How much could she learn?
How could I help her?

But that started changing quickly. We started watching sign language videos on the laptop and playing and loving each other. We started playing little games such as pat-a-cake and eensy weensy spider..... and it seemed like she started calming down. The grinding teeth noises were replaced by quietness..... slowly but surely she was mastering signs. I found myself wondering if she was just randomly signing or did she know what she was saying with her hands??? Every now and again God would let me have a small glimpse into little G's world.
she was in there,
she really could learn.

Fast forward to now....
exactly five months from that first day......
June 7th
we loaded the plane....
flew from Atlanta to Ecuador.
We woke up early on the 8th-with very little sleep I might add
to get to the orphanage and meet her for the first time.
All this playing and learninng,
all the "love therapy".....
its paying off with HUGE dividends.
I am so glad that I didnt let my worries keep us from this journey.
Money is just money......
Yes I would be starting over again....
but motherhood at 40-something is so different than 20-something.(and its not all bad!)

THere are so many ways that you can remember the orphans.
If your family isnt in the position to adopt.
Pray, help financially,be the arms and legs of Christ.
One way you can help is go read this post and leave a comment.
That is so easy! List it on your FB or your blog. Sixseedstv will donate $2 for each comment!!!! If everyone that you know reads and comments....... we could make a HUGE difference for this family.....
you could make the difference in an orphans life TODAY!!!!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Words of Wisdom

I read this post here.
Some of them, and the comments, were so so true.
(and funny)
I am thankful I have Gods word to shed light on any subject, any topic.....
I am glad he offers forgiveness for my imperfections.
And that I said I was sorry.....
and I love you,
Im proud of you.
I wasnt perfect.
I have failed many many times.....
One thing that I can know for sure is that I was real with my children.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

letting go......

Ive mentioned that we are helping son move out today.
My heart is so heavy.
I KNOW its time.
I want him to spread his wings.
The head knowledge just isnt helping my heart right now.
I have found comfort with him coming and going from here.
now that room is so empty.....

He has always been the one that has had to teach me how to mother a boy/man.
I grew up with girls and each stage he went through was a new learning experience for me.
I know he is only going to be a short drive from our house.
But I also know that this wont be home for him
This is a natural process........

I remain,
Under His wings,

Monday, November 1, 2010

A good read????

A fellow blogger is hosting a giveaway here. The book she is giving away is title "Wrestling with an angel". I think it would speak to so many people I know so I wanted to give you the opportunity to go enter yourself and take a peek at Greg Lucas' blog. (plus allow me to have my name entered in the drawing twice! Im shameless I admit.) He is the author of the book and it was a compilation of his blog posts.
That is such an inspiring idea isnt it?
I have a few people asking if I will do that with little G's adoption story.
I would love to put it all together
to share the road of faith our family has walked on.....
But I like having it all to myself.
Its still a little fresh and private.
(I know.... its on the internet for ANYONE to read.)
but still.....

We all have a journey.....
We all have a beautiful story.....
hidden within the Author has created each one of us....
destined to make our mark.....
Created to reveal and reflect He who is in us....

I had some girl time with a dear friend on Friday. She is the kind of friend that I love to talk with, and be quiet with. She says such profound things at times that really provoke seep thought. I wish I had that in me. She made a comment about our waiting to bring little G home. It had something to do with being glad that I learned to qiet my spirit. Learning to love the quiet.... this process that helps me decompress. This cocooning we have been doing would have been so so hard if I wouldnt have first learned how to be home ALOT and actually enjoy it wouldnt it?

What a fun weekend- three days posts in one!

I enjoyed family time this weekend.
I am working on helping my son getting ready to move.
Its a hard topic for me.
I am choosing to be happy for him. I know he needs to be a man...

I went shopping with his girlfriend on Friday evening. We went to one of my favorite restaurants for a bite to eat. Little G knows what it means when we go there. Its one of the few places she has been. Ive never been bombarded like we were that night. I almost couldnt eat because of the nervous energy. I know that they didnt mean to overwhelm me. But I am so new to this. Since weve been home cocooning I am just not out and about with little G much. (It seems whenever I am out with her someone smiles or has something nice to say to us.)But I really do forget that many people take one look at her and see "Down Syndrome". I forget. Shes just ittle G to me..... The family saw right off that she had Down Syndrome and we barely got our order placed. Mostly it was the mother oohing and aahing over her. She loved Gs pink glasses and wanted to know where we purchased them. So I took them off G to get the name of the company for them.... while was trying to order and pay.... really... She said their little one wouldnt keep hers on. her daughter looked about 4 months old but quite possibly was older. The mother had crouched down with me to look at G's glasses and actually went to pick her up!!!! My heart starts beating out of my chest just typing it out.I wonder how she wouldve felt if I wouldve just scooped her little one out of her husbands arms? I know she wasnt thinking since G was WANTING this stranger to pick her up and hold her. Geesh. Come on little G..... cant I take you anywhere???? I firmly told the woman ,"NO, no no. Please dont pick her up. Shes just been adopted and is not supposed to be held by anyone other than family." Then as we went to the table to eat a kind older man approached girlfriend and asked if G had down Syndrome. Yup. He thought so, he has a grandson with Down Syndrome that is nine. He commented on how much more energy she has.( well she was out. She doesnt get out much! ha ha!) Let me just tell you I am giving more consideration for a T-shirt that reads:
I am doing fine with friends.
But complete strangers, no matter how nice they might be?
Not there.... and quite possibly may never be.
So if you are her.
I know you didnt mean to overwhelm me.
But you did.
Dont be offended.... I have been through alot to have this beautiful little one in my life.
Next time ask first.
And be ready for me to say no......
(girl friend wondered what the woman wouldve done if I wouldve tried scooping her ltle one out of husbands arms. Without asking. Or husband for that matter..... Girlfriend also asked if things like that happened all the time with G around.I sure hope not)

We had a laid back Saturday. I was able to buy some luan plywood and get it stained for a piece of artwork for sons apt. I cleaned two end tables. Garage sale finds. Bought the black paint to re-do them. I cant wait to show you some photos of what I am doing for son. I really think once I get done the apt will have a touch of style. Saturday was a great day since I got some artsy time in. P and I watched Benjamin Button after G went to bed. Not sure how I felt about it. I loved the narration and the underlying message of the movie. Just being the melancholy sort..... it left my heart heavy.

Church on Sunday.
I mentioned G's new shoes a few posts ago...... And the fact that I sewed like a crazy woman to get a costume for G. I am glad that after 20-something years of mothering I know how to cut my losses and just walk away. The dress to go with the shoes was turning out HUGE. I guess typical non- Ecuadorian little size 3T people are bigger than G. Next year. I left it undone and will probably be sewing like a crazy woman next year to get it done just in the nick of time. ;) wink wink. Well back to where I was before I started down this rabbit trail......
She has cute red glittery shoes that she just LOVES.
So I pulled out what was probably a Christmas hand-me -down dress.....
of course it was red.
And she was just angelic.
I kept looking at her with tears while she signed her way though church......
I cant believe she is mine.
What a gift.

I have a few things on my mind......
asking the pastor about a Sunday for dedicating her,
either Thanksgiving weekend since she will turn 5 and all our family will be here for the holiday. Or in December when my grandfather celebrates his birthday and we have our traditional family get together.
Im just so timid.
Ive also been wanting to ask the music minister about the songs for each Sunday so that G can learn them in advance?
Maybe just one at a time or something?
I know a word here and there.....
she is trying so hard to sing.
It is sweeter than sweet.
Do you remember your babes learning to pray and sing?
We always said youngest son E would be a preacher because of the long sweet prayers he would pray over meals...... memories.

After Church G had nap time and I painted on my project.
I felt like an artist....
I forget that I can do it.
I forget about my love to create.

Then we loaded up for G's version of trick or treat. We went to visit two older people. A 87 year old woman named Grace that had prayed for our family during our adoption. We had never met her before but felt it was time she met little G.

Then over to my grandfathers house.
She remembered Popee.
It was sweet.
They played and played together.
He said at least four times that he was glad we had come...

Made me sad that I havent visited more.
G's schedule makes it hard..... But I will try.
Another thing he said numerous times," I thnk she likes me."
Of course Popee.
Everyone loves you.
He told me that he had finally found his great great grand fathers grave.(I think I have the right number of greats in there.)
I am so glad that he has gotten the joy of finding it.
Its unkempt and we are hoping that we can get permission to clean it up and have access to it even tho its on private property.
A civil war soldier that found with George Washington.....
Im sure there are alot of families that can say that.
Many families that are even descendants of the same man.
My Grandfather knows now where he is buried thanks to someone thats part of the local historical society.
I wonder how many other graves are hidden, unkempt.
People who fought for our country.....
Its only about an hour and a half from where my parents live.
I cant wait to go see for myself.

Well this is the end of 31 for 21.....
I hope that there is something I have shared along the way that helps carve out some sort of understanding about Down Syndrome. Even if its just the fact that our family isnt so different...... just another family lovin each other and growing our faith together..... we are more alike than different.

I remain,
Under His wings,

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Girl time..... I am not perfect.

Have plans to have some girl time this afternoon while G is napping. Had a horrible morning and have decided to give my friend a heads up but proceed with the plans. Friend wants to learn to set up a blog and needs knitting assistance..... Two things I can do. Hubby is headed home to check up on us after a meeting at work in town.
All is well..... thankfully.

G got to learn firsthand that I am not perfect.
I make mistakes.
Putting the wrong contact solution in her case.
A bad thing......
Causing extreme pain.
Eyes flushed out numerous times.
Much crying (both mother and daughter)
and signing "hurt, hurt, hurt".....
I am crying just sharing it with you.
Not to worry.
I will be more careful.
It will NEVER happen again.

I remain,
Under His wings,

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Is it Friday yet?

I had a good venting session and feel much better.
Husband was good to "hear me out" and give his thoughts on it all.
First fact is, I had a headache all night before last and yesterday was a little off as a result.
Then add PMS into the mix,
and a toddler.
We used to comment that she was like a three year old.
Then reality hit with a BANG and ..... well.... lets just say 18 mos.
(in the beginning that is.)
We are getting closer and closer to two....
but its tiring having a little one in the mix.
Add the perfectionist parent syndrome in there.....
well its a nice cocktail but make sure to gulp it down because it doesnt tase too good. (more time on my kness needed thats for sure.....)

So what was so annoying and frustrating, causing the need for a vent session, you ask?
Well lets start it off by saying little G was ready to start her day well before I was, and there was no coffee in the house.(remember the headache. It was because I only had one scoop of coffee for the day before instead of two and I didnt have any gumption to get out and buy more.) So I ask dear son to run to local coffee shop- owners attend our church and even though the chain star$$$ is right around the corner.... I believe in supporting small businesses when at all possible. (steps off soapbox)He gladly does my bidding when I add "you can stop and get breakfast too if youd like." ;) Anyone know how to say bribery???

She starts right in during breakfast begging to watch signing time, Together. Over and over. together. Signing time. Together. Together. I get her dressed teeth brushed, you name it. Al the while telling her "No, no signing time. Lets play toys. She of course wants to play with all the noisemaking ones and gets them all playing at once. Did I mention headache? Hey, wheres my coffee?? I stagger out to living room to wait..... She comes into the kitchen and plays with the letter thingy on the fridge.
Peeve number three for the day. Did I loose count? One: repeatedly signing "signing time together" Two: awake and in a cheerful mood. Three: playing with toy on fridge. Now its not that she plays with it that bothers me. Its the WAAAYYYY she plays with it. It goes through all the ABC's right? Wrong. G only lets it get to A,B,C half the time before starting it over again.... the other half she gets to the letter P before hitting restart. Over and over and over....... pulling your hair out yet? (Its not even 9am.) Pet peeve number 4 is similar: kitty piano. I LOVE this toy. really I do. But the WAAAAYYY G plays with it, we all laughed after she went to bed.I spoke of banging head on the wall..... And really it isnt funny anymore. I need a vacation from the piano!!! Lets say one key plays 20 songs without words. She has 3 random songs that she likes. She knows how many times to hit the button to get to the ones she likes. So you hear the first three seconds of 17 songs over and over and over to hear only 3 in their entirety. The other button has maybe 10 with the words and she has two favorites.... yes same story.ALL DAY LONG.... I think its cool that she has preferences. There are things she likes and doesnt like..... and there are times she wants "up" and other times you reach out for her and she turns away and holds her arms behind her back. Nope. No thanks.

P thinks its great that she wants to watch signing time EVERY stinkin minute of the day...... He said he thinks she is just so excited to be let out of that isolated world that she used to live in. Signing time has given her words. And together means that someone cares. I am not alone. I dont want to be alone, I dont want to be lonely. I want to be able to tell you more things, I want to show you how smart I really am. I dont want you to give up on me. I want to matter. I want you to see that your loving me is making a difference and I want to have words to communicate with you instead of ONE HANDPLAY GAME.......

So hats off to the hubby... and the son with the incredible cup of coffee.
He understood when I told him,
Its hard being the mommy of a four year old.
He corrected me and said, no how about a 2 year old.
I got my bathroom clean,
three loads of laundry,
worked on the baby sweater- almost done!,
played with G,
watched signing time- again.
posted on my blog,
cooked supper,
cleaned the kitchen.....

maybe it wasnt such a bad day after all......

I remain,
Under His wings

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Shocking but true.......

Id like to process something that happened the other day.
Before adopting little G this wouldnt have even phased me.
Wouldnt have thought twice....
but after....
Something about the "after" causes things to look different.
I am seeing things differently.

I had errands to run.
Basically had a few people to visit.
I havent been out much with little G because she just doesnt handle crowds or stimulation well.
To the naked eye it might seem fine.
But those of us that really know G can see it happen.
It makes me sad.
I am hoping
as time passes
she will mature
and gain coping skills.....
Im off on a rabbit trail.

Back to the other day.....
We had been out visiting and G was doing her best to stay awake in the back seat.
Im only about 2 blocks from home and had to stop.
There was a school bus in front of me.
Didnt think twice about it.
Was chattering away with G and wondered what was taking so long.

No one was getting off....
Then I saw it.
The little blue sticker on the back.
This wasnt just any school bus.

This was the "short bus".

The father climbed out
carring his little one.
My breath was caught in my throat.

would be the bus my little G would ride.
If/When the time comes for G to head off to school
She would ride this bus.....
My child will ride the short bus.
Why does that shock me?
I knew....
We chose her.....
this is what we wanted.....
This shouldnt come as a surprise.
but I forget.

She is my little G.

There arent any labels.

She is my daughter.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Being "real"

I few posts back I commented on being "real".
Faking it through life seems to be the norm. A
Are we really helping anyone,
including ourselves when we hide behind those walls?
When we put on a happy face, reply "fine" with the fake smile- you know that 2 for one deal... to the questions, "how are you?".
I wonder,
when we are on the other side and ask the question,
do we really want to know how that person is, really.

I know of someone that started their adoption story about the same time we did. They were doing a domestic adoption of an older child and apparently had to disrupt before the relationship really even got a chance. I dont know all the circumstances. I cant go into details that I do know...... but as I talked with this mother and she shared she kept saying that she was fine. I looked right at her and told her," no, you are not fine. Its okay to admit it. You are human and this isnt what you expected. You will be okay..... but it will take time." I offered to be there for her if she needed but I wonder if she will really reach out.
Im not being judgemental in the least when I say this,
We have People all around us faking it.
Its not helping them.
Its not helping us.
We arent able to learn through their story.
I dont know what to do with these feelings of inadequacy with our adoption if other mothers out there are too busy "faking it" it really share what it was like.
For real.
If I am not willing to say.
"hey, this is beautiful, yes. But this is HARD."
"You know This isnt the love I expected, I feel like I am babysitting. It doesnt feel real." (this is how I felt up until about six weeks after we'd be home. You know, just going through the motions.)No one else out there realizes that when they jump in with both feet they just might land in a different place than they thought If I dont stay real.

I have a blip written in an old day runner, remember those, I still have the address phone number part of it in my desk... where was I? Oh yeah. I read this book way back when.... seems like foreer ago that I checked it out from the library. Oldest child was only 15..... "real college" by Doug Stone and Elizabeth Tippett.

Heres what they wrote:
" It's all too easy to compare your confused tumultous insides with other people's seemingly placid and perfect outsides, but chances are, their insides are just as messy and tumultous as yours, maybe more. If you actually knew those superstars youve created in your head better, youd have a window into just how human and messed-up-self-doubting they really are behind all the accolades.

Makes me so thankful to have just a few people that really know me.
People that I feel comfortable just letting the facades down with.....
Makes me think about our creator and who he created us to be,
What we really should be striving for.
Is it really perfection???
Just wondering.....
just thinking out loud....

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A toddler in the house

So just an update to Friday's post. I spent naptime Friday and Saturday cutting out fabric, sewing..... much to my disappointment she had to wear her Gators cheerleading costume. Glad I had it as an option. G only slept a few hours on Friday and yesterday.... so.... no costume. All thats left is sewing the bodice to the skirt, hemming and zipper. Not sure if I will sew it to completion or wait until next year. Reason being, G just doesnt do well with large crowds. It might not appear to be a problem unless you are watching closely. Oldest daughter had a party last night and G was overstimulated and.... Im just not sure if we will get dressed up and go out again any time soon..... Might be a little premature no matter how well intended. :(

Those of you will little ones that have the same issues?
I just have to remind myself that she has only been home 2 almost 3 months....

I remain,
Under His wings,

Friday, October 22, 2010

Busy busy......

I dont know about you,
But time is just flying by.....
a blur of days and I find myself looking at the calendar.
Seeing that another month has come and gone.....
Little G has been home since the 1st of August so we are now ready to celebrate......three months home. Three months today...

My plate is so full.
Many days I dont feel like I get much done.
But its hard work being a 4.5 year old!
Theres alot to do!
There is so much to learn.....

I have book reviews that have been piling up.
Ive been reading the books but putting off posting the review.
Then today I had it on my list and saw that this post was still a draft.
Not yet published.
So let me add a few more reviews to the list and hit publish.
Its such a an honor to review books for Bethany publishers.
I love to read wholesome books.

here are the books I had already reviewed:

1. "In every heartbeat" this story was about college aged teens that had been raised in an Orphanage set back near the time period of WW1. The group of young adults went through the adjustments of finding themselves and making friends away from the place they had called home. I enjyed the story especially reading about how each one of the young adults handled

2."Loves first bloom " by Deliah Parr. This was the second of this author's stories that I have had the pleasure of reading and reviewing. The setting for this book takes place in the early 1800's and starts right off with intrigue and suspense so that the reader is drawn in from the beginning. I enjoyed the part of the story that involved a young woman trying to raise a toddler as if it were her own because we have recently adopted a little one and I connected with some of the emotions and situations the main character found herself in. I will say that I did have a hard time believing that the farce went on so long between the two main characters. All in all this was a good light read that was a great excape from reality.I would give this story 4 out of 5 stars.

this is where my post ended a month ago..... let me just add these two books while Im at it!!!

4."Within my heart" by Tamera Alexander. I just want to start this review by saying. "Wow!" I have read so many books this year thanks to Bethany House publishers. I am just so glad that Tamera has gone outside the box for this one. I am not one to give away much of the plot in my reviews so you will have to purchase it to see for yourself. I enjoyed that both main characters in the story have deep hurts that they work through. As the story progresses you see how they both have to lean on the Lord for strenth and how they mature in their faith. We are all dealing with the past to get on with our futures arent we? I wont hesitate to give this story five out of five stars.

5. "Hatteras girl" By Alice Wisler.I have been an avid reader all my life. I was so thrilled that this book did not leave me disappointed and cant wait to send it to my mother. The southern easy going lifestyle throughout the story made me long for my daughters naptime. I enjoyed following along as the main character followed her dreams and learned what true love is.I also enjoyed the dpeth and warmth of the characters as the book made me think of my best girlfriend often and how our lives as women are constantly changing, how we are friends, mothers , daughters, sisters and wives....... I simply cant say enough about this great book! Its a must read.
It gets a 5 out of 5 star review as well......

"Theres no place like home"

I was really busy today while G was napping.
I am making a costume.
Ive made this same costume once before
but in a larger version....
Once upon a time.....
for oldest daughter.
the outfit called for...
new shoes......
You shouldve seen her when we put the shoes on her feet....
Squeals of delight.
dancing dancing.....
those were happy feet.
And she kept saying
and signing "happy happy."
Over the top cuteness....
A girl after my own heart....
Hats, purses and shoes....
they dont make me feel overweight....

I dont want to keep you in too much suspense....
leave you hanging.
Heres a picture of the shoes.....
can you guess what costume I was sewing????

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sensory Processing Disorders? Playdough and Gak anyone???

I just found this site while looking for play-dough and Gak recipes.
I cant wait to sort through the information to see what is here.
I hope something about Sensory Processing Disorders and PT/OT will help someone out in Blogland.

Grace and I have been playing with Playdough.... to develop fine motor skills. I found this Octopus playset.
The reason I chose it was for the game. You can make a fish or whatever(I had G just rolling little balls) then the child hits one arm to launch it into the hole in the middle. Of course she squealed with delight when it went flying across the room. Yes, I knew that would be a thrill. But it encouraged her to make more balls and keep playing. She gets tired of co-operating..... ha ha! Typical toddler behavior. I wouldnt have it any other way. It also came with stampers and cool cutting tools. I looked at all the sets and thought this would be the best bang for the buck.

Oh, I havent updated you about the contacts lately. I think we are off and running. G lets me put them in with no complaint. I just set her in front of the TV with signing time on and youd never know I was sticking my fingers in her eyes. We are working on getting Occupational Therapy to see what they think about her vision with the contacts. RIght now the provider that works with our Dr isnt covered by our insurance. Not sure where we will go from there.

thanks for checking in....

Only a few more days of 31 for 21 left....

I remain,
Under His wings

The picture link is up!

Pictures of our Little G can be found here. If you got the e-mail and saw the facebook link..... sorry for the repeat. Youd think I was excited or something.......

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Homecoming King and Queen

I was sent this link from a dear friend. You see the picture on the header? When I put the word out that we were looking for a little one with Down Syndrome in Ecuador that is the picture she sent me..... and then a few others. This family held our hand as we navigated through the murky waters that are what makes adopting from Ecuador so much fun.

This family was one of the first to actually meet Miss G stateside. I am so glad that they had an extra bed or two for us to take a nap that morning..... after flying all night/ P and the rest of the family driving all night.We awoke to good Southern hospitality and a divine lunch..... beautiful memories.

Well, my dear friend was at a high school football game and "accidentally" sent me a text about this.

I also wanted to add,
We just got a note from Focus on the Family. Did 'Yall know that November 7th is Orphan Sunday? They have a video that can be shown with Show hope, Francis Chan.....Maybe this would help you or your pastor?

Have a blessed day as you serve Him.....

I remain,
Under His wings,

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A new website

Did anyone else get this for the new Down Syndrome research and treatment foundation?

FYI.... met up with a friend to get pics taken of Miss G yesterday.
cant wait to share. She sent a sneak peak.....

Monday, October 18, 2010

Friday Saturday, Sunday and Mondays posts

Hey, Im not sure this is allowed in 31 for 21. But Im good at making up my own rules when things arent like I want them..... ask my husband! ha ha!

I just want to post and I dont know where to start except by talking about the WOmens Conference that I was blessed with a ticket to. P went to get his hair cut and our friend Mel ended up offering a ticket she had extra for me to go. He said he'd keep G so it was a plan. If you get a chance to go to "Fresh Gounded faith" let me tell you its a great way to get refreshed in small doses. Ive been to several Womens conferences and some are so deep that You stagger away almost numb for weeks afterward. This was light and refreshing. I loved the speakers and tools for real life....... The main thing I left with was what Jennifer Rothschild had to say about cleaning out your thought closet. This was not a new idea but something that I really have to strive at doing. She said "Dont let the enemy of your soul know you better than you know yourself."
Matthew 26:41
2 Corinthians 10:5 Hold every thought captive! While we were waiting on our adoption paperwork to be processed in Ecuador this is one of the few verses that I clung to. Her main point was if those thoughts dont line up with Gods word, Gods thoughts about you, then throw them out. And also ladies..... NOT ALL FEELINGS ARE FACT! how many times have I taken a look cast my way, a thought that was said or unsaid and let the runaway brain train get away from me. If Id let all of Satans words that ran through my head sit and stew there is NO WAY Id have made it through the two year journey to bring Miss G home......What did I do... I sat in my conmfy chair with my bible always close at hand, a few Bible promises verse books, Great praise music- so that I could praise Him even when my heart wasnt in it. Before long my heart would join in.

I dont know what is going on in your life right now,
or whats right around the bend.
But I thought these great words might be of encouragement to someone.

Friday, October 15, 2010

you have to read this......

I really dont like posting links.
But if we are wanting to be informed.
And, well, this guy has a daughter that is over 21 with Down Syndrome.
The things he has to say....
the way he says it....
I have so much to learn....
I think G is going to be teaching me
not the other way around.

I remain,
Under His wings,

A GREAT post

I just read the greatest post.
I am sure I will have to re-read it many times.
I know many of you with little ones that have Down Syndrome have seen/read it.
But since we are advocating this month I wanted to post a link here for those of you that dont......

My camera battery is dead.
As soon as its rechaged I will have a few more photos of Miss G for ya!

I remain,
Under His wings,

Thursday, October 14, 2010

a little prayer or two......

Ive been working on something hard this week. Well i suppose two hard things. One is rather personal. It shouldnt be hard. But it is.

The second is Miss G and the contact issue.
Yesterday one or the other had fallen out three times before lunch. I took them both out before nap time and just put the glasses on afternaptime until bedtime. Being the mommy person is already hard work. Ive barely been getting food cooked, housework up to par, little knitting or reading time..... much less all the extras. For some reason there are things out of place in the laundry room causing much confusion and making it very cramped in there. But I just cant seem to "get it done". Anyhoo.... back to the contacts. She has lost one this morning, thankfully it was on her kitty piano, yes that is where the first lost contact was. Put it in the solution, washed hands and plopped it back in..... so far so good. I am so so thankful that she is going incredible with it. I just tell her in spanish to have quiet hands and she sits there sweetly waiiting on me to tell her all done. We clap and cheer together. So far no completely lost contacts......

just another day in the neighborhood.......

I remain,
Under His wings,

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


These are all pictures from day one in Ecuador.

Refelecting on what was......
now seeing what is.
the dreams of yesterday....
I believe that we each have a "calling", talents and ablities.
Each one of us.....
knit together in our mothers womb for a unique purpose.
Today I praise God for the fulfillment of the dreams that we had.....

even in the waiting
God was there.....
Looking forward
The hopes for tomorrow......

I remain,
Under His wings,

"Happy is he who makes daily progress and who considers not what he did yesterday but what advance he can make today." -Jerome (taken from Soul Retreats for Moms)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Need some Grace?

So we ended up being at the opthamologist office two days in a row. Yesterday lil G got her new contacts, she had already lost one by bedtime. (P found it on her favorite toy, we put it in the solution and good as new. whew!) Then today out running errands with my middle son and when I checked her eyes... yup you guessed it. BOTH contacts were gone! I found one in her car seat and put it in the case and called the eye Dr. They asked us to come in to see if the other was still in her eye and if there were scratches on her cornea. So off we went to the Dr. ( we were right around the corner) on the way there I called P and he went to look out in his truck to see if the other one might be in the car seat in his vehicle.( can you believe it WAS!)Tradgedy averted....
We arrived at the eye Dr to warm greetings. The receptionist mentioned how sad she was that she wasnt in the office yesterday to get to see Lil G..... then the tech that worked with us yesterday was glad to see G again. She went on and on about how cute she was how blessed she was to have us.( we feel its the other way around.)

I am touched at how this child can brighten someone's day,
can see a stranger and see that person as a new possible friend......
I think of the sign for her name. it symbolizes "from God coming down to man"........

We all need some extra Grace in our lives dont we..........

Monday, October 11, 2010

Can I make a difference?

Im sure youve read this poem Im sharing today.
I was lying in bed sobbing.
P and I were discussing a child we had to leave behind.
I have to know we are making a difference
even if its just one.

A man was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up. Left on the sand by the receding tide the starfish were certain to die as the sun dried them out. The man also saw a boy picking up starfish and flinging them back into the sea. Planning to teach the boy a little lesson in common sense, the man walked up to the boy and said, "I have been watching what you are doing, son. You have a good heart, and I know you mean well, but do you realize how many beaches there are around here and how many starfish are dying on every beach every day? Surely such an industrious and kind hearted boy such as yourself could find something better to do with your time.
Do you really think that what you are doing is going to make a difference?"
The boy looked up at the man, and then he looked down at a starfish by his feet.
He picked up the starfish,
and as he gently tossed it back into the ocean,
he said, "It makes a difference to that one."
~author unknown

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Family & fun

Today is Sunday and Ive mentioned that weve been having our young adults over for supper. With everyone working and doing their own thing I just needed to set a time and ask everyone to put it on their calendar. Sunday evenings with Mom and Dad. Tonight Im cooking new potatoes, Green beans and Honey Mustard pork roast with bacon . This is the second time Ive cooked this and let me tell you its super easy, very flavorful...... just an incredible meal.

Grace loves football. I am sure before long she will have her favorite teams picked. Its funny, the TV goes onto football and she comes out of the woodwork squealing and yelling.(cheering for whoever is playing at that given moment.)

Tomorrow afternoon we have a long awaited Opthamologist appointment.
They special ordered contacts for Lil G.They will be worn for 30 days at a time. Everyone asks how we will get them in her eyes but I tell you she really trusts us and is so so easy. We will be fine. I will be so so sad to not see her wearing those cute pink glasses. But the Dr said she would give this a try if it was her child. It will open Gs range of vision from right in the middle of the lens. I want this for her.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Lil G I went to have coffee with a friend
and her daughter showed up....
extra blessings for me.
This was a great adventure.(I know I used to take things SOOOO for granted. Going for coffee a treat!? giggle) Ive been staying home and "cocooning" with lil G so much that these outings are such a treat. I have to remind myself tho that G was raised in an orphanage and she gets over stimulated very very easily. She hasnt been out alot since weve been home so these adventures are starting from day one since she was adopted. We took her to school, shopping you know, the odd stuff while we were in Ecuador.But let me tell you...... she gets wound up tighter than an 8 day clock. The noise the people... its alot for a little person. I just found it so enjoyable to sit back and enjoy my coffee (heavenly coffee BTW) while G engaged with these two trusted people. I had to be the interpreter but you know Im really okay with that.(makes me feel needed, important.) She played the little hand game that we grew to dread in Ecuador. The first few days that was all she could do/ or say to us two claps(are you watching me and copying me?) two pats on the tummy(now its your turn, do I need to show you how to play?) a little wiggle of the hips, hands behind your back.... as the days progressed she might add a few things in here and there all the while waiting for you to repeat each movement like Simon says. But as we taught her signs she started playing her little game less and less and instead started going through the signs one at a time.
Makes me think.....
How much we all want someone to engage with us,
make eye contact with me,
tell me what I have to say matters to you,
really pay attention to me......
its kinda sweet...
Her new sign
to repeat over
and over...
come play with me,
come sit with me,
come watch signing time with me,
eat with me...

(see, having down syndrome doesnt make her any different than the rest of us. She has things to say, she wants to matter.....were more alike than different)
I remain,
Under His wings,

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I like it!

Lil G LOVES ice cream and lots of intense flavor. I made spagetti with sausage tonight and she said "Mmmm co-co" (meaning "Mmmm ces rico"-yummy or good)Yesterday she also started saying "Me gusta and no me gusta" alot with the signs...... "I like it, I dont like it." it sounds like this" OOOhhh-gah"! Too cute! Thot' youd enjoy.....

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Tell me more.... show me a sign

(Grace signing bird holding her knit bird)

How are you doing little one?
My little one,
my little one
I'd like to know what's on your mind
Our days together,
time together
You and me,
our one on one
These are the times that make me smile
You make me smile

Tell me that you love me
Tell me that you're thinking of me
Tell me all about the things you're thinking
Day and night, both day and night
Tell me that you're happy
And you love it when we're laughing
Tell me more,
tell me more,
show me a sign
Show me a sign

I dont know if youve heard these words in your house lately but this song just takes my breath away.
This song is heard at LEAST once a day in my house the past two months if not more.... I mentioned that G is now asking to watch "signing time". I know that I keep blogging about her new words. But to a gal that has the "gift of gab". This is HUGE!
There arent many days that go by that I dont thank God in heaven for Rachel Coleman and the gift she has given Ms G. There are those with Down Syndrome that never develop speech.
This part isnt so scary anymore.....
G has words...
shes just like Mommy...
the little chatterbox! wink wink.
Today she squealed with delight and signed "boy" when she saw E for the first time of the day......
and can I share something just so precious???
Grace prays with me each night.
I know the Tias prayed with her in the orphanage because you put her in the bed and BAM! Those chubby hands are clasped and head is bowed ready to pray. She mumbles like my others did when they were little.... but when I say thank you Jesus in Spanish she will sign something and I say the word for her. She thanks Jesus for so many things that I in my spoiled-self-centered-way forget to be thankful for.
Of course she goes through the list of family members
and Apples,
and THREE dogs,
and her bed,
for books,
baby dolls,
and water....
even signing time.......
thats my girl!!!!


Grab This Button

I just wanted to let anyone "following " or reading my blog that Ive mostly been posting on Yesterday when I signed on I was on here and forgot...... and posted...... so I drug the post over to share with everyone.

Just in case you didnt know.....

Sorry for the confusion.

Under His wings,

new words anyone????

I know...... Ive been holding out on you.
It wasnt Intentional.....
Lil G has some new words!!!
The exciting part is that the words are actually spoken to go with the signs she knows. I think a few posts ago I mentioned she knew pretty much all the signs on the first three signing time videos. it hasnt slowed her down.... she is now moving on to actual words. Please understand the only words that are very very clear are Mama, Dada, nite nite, two new ones "cup" and "up", and Apple.......oh yes lets not forget NO! wink wink...
If you know the signs and hear the bits and pieces it will just blow your mind as it does mine each day...... we have come so far! I think thats why the triycle incident yesterday upset me so badly. The days of helping her navigate like a blind/ mute child are over and its almost like I have PTSD. The time we spent in Ecuador, its so hard to find it in my memory. She is now running and jumping!I just forget....

I posted a picture yesterday of her playing with her leap frog letter sounds toy that goes on the fridge. Yesterday we worked on the letter "B" again. Its funny she is now saying the sound for "B" but isnt adding it into the words that begin with the sound......I still want to have pictures of her with her B words printed and laminated, put on a ring for her to carry around. "Grace with her BALL" "Grace with her Book" etc.

The only new sign we have is "signing time".....
let me tell you this is the most popular sign right now, she begs to watch her videos all day until I put them on for her. (thats what she is doing right now)

-stop sounds like "top-i" (stop it??)
-cold "cooooah"
-car "caaaah"
-happy "aaahpeh"
-told Ashley yeah in reply to a question..... that only happened once, lets see if its real or not.....
-yesterday she said bath for the first time. Its weird, instead of the B sound we are learning(with your lips together) she sticks her tongue WAAAAAY out and its like she is saying bleck (yucky)but she is doing it while signing bath..... fuuuuuuunnnnnyyy!!!!!!

Have a blessed day.....

Under His wings,