Wednesday, April 27, 2011

This speaks to right where I am

Im so sorry for the silence.
I am having a hard time finding words.
I have struggled before but the words flowed.
But I cannot speak.
Right now I am just silent.
This says something that rings true.

Blessings dear friends.
As we walk through the good times- good/hard and the good/easy. It is all good in Gods plan. I am keeping my hands and heart open for what He has for me.

I remain,
Under His wings,

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Our first Easter together

Hunting Eggs with her cousins at Great Grandpas house.
Dyeing eggs on Saturday night with her cousins.
On Saturday we went out to Molino to visit old friends.Little G was TERRIFIED of the horse. But after awhile they made friends. A pet or two on the nose. I kept telling her it was like a big doggie. (rememebr we have a Great Dane.... wink wink)A little playtime with her shadow/friend.
Then a REAL ride on a horse! She had a great time.

I was able to spend time with all four children and significant others.....
I pray your Easter was full of all that is important....
You know what I mean-
and friends....

Under His wings,

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Teacher and mother

Some of you that know me personally, know we homeschooled our three oldest children. Still one year left with the "once youngest" and now, "one of the middle brothers". (he was glad to give the title of baby brother up let me tell you!!!!) This adoption has refined bits and pieces of me. Places in my faith that needed to be tweaked here and there...... now that she is home, seeing my gifts and things I count as Joy being used in their fullest.

Little G will be staying home with me for another year. She and I have had alot of learning to do since she came home with us in August. Its been hard. But very very good. I can see progress daily and thrill at being the one to be teaching her these things.

She has actually been stepping off the step on the front porch without holding a hand. HUGE for her. For so long she couldnt see. She couldnt see what was an actual step or just a change in texture on the ground. She felt she needed a hand to to it. But we started showing her a few months ago that she could now take that step without holding on. Encouraging along the way, holding the hand when she just couldnt find the courage. The past three days she has done it without encouragement, like it was natural to just step down off the porch onto the walkway.

She has also learned so many new signs in the past week or two. I have to add to my tally. I know its close to over 250 words now. Pretty soon I am going to need to find someone to hold our hand, not literally of course, and teach us new words. Little G has so much to say. My heart swells so that it hurts to be in my chest when I think of where she was..... and where we are now.

I have discussed many of my felings and thoughts with my oldest daughter. She will get her degree soon in special Ed and has been working hard with teachers and special students...... she is good to hear me out and then let me find my way. Sometimes a word or two in assurance. I am a teacher. I love to be the one that teaches my children to read, words that are so important to me. I love being the one teaching my little ones about color and seeing God...... Im not so good with Math but I love when a new concept clicks.

So, even though I really dont see homeschooling on my radar for little G and I for the long haul. Please give me some grace and allow me the same joys that I had with my first three. Im not saying I feel equiped to do this for her whole education I NEED to continue teaching her and learning with her for a little while longer...... I have waited so long to hold her, sing with her, teach her the things that really matter in life. I cannot let someone else take that role in her life just yet.

Here are photos of me teaching her to drink milk out of her bowl after eating all the cereal. A very important thing to learn dont you agree?!:

Monday, April 18, 2011

you need to see this

Ive tried taking a video of little G doing her happy dance when Papa comes home from work in the evening. Its beautiful. She also does the happy dance for Big sister, big brothers, and now Mama. I was the last on the list..... but I choose to think what Oldest sister said as the Truth, "Mom you have to go away, and then come back, to get the happy dance." She is so wise. In a week, oldest sister turns 23. Time marches on. I know this video isnt the greatest either, Hope you enjoy anyhoo.....

Friday, April 15, 2011


There is not much to say.
You can read my last post.
Know that right now,
in the hard places:
God is ever present.
Each day he has revealed himself....
as only He can.
In romantic
lover-ly ways.
I am so glad that I can trust Him
with my heart.

Under His wings,

Monday, April 11, 2011

Tears on my pillow

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” ~2 Cor 12:9

i am so glad that God goes out of His way to proide what i need for each day.
This verse......
i remember the last womens conference i was able to attend. One woman will forever stand out
in my mind
her story and testimony.
She spoke of Grace,
she spoke of mercy.
How we look at others, their journey, and think to ourselves, "my faith isnt strong enough for that." It just so happens that he measures out the amount each of us needs for that day. Dear child, theres plenty more where that came from.
He who goes before us,
AND IS TO COME.( past, present and future tenses)

Dear friend
you might be in a place where a double dose of mercy and grace are needed.
He knows.
As your tears wash away the "me", and the "mine" to only leave room for "Him" and "His".
He knows.....

Under His wings,

Friday, April 8, 2011

Gestation and Birthing

The happenings as of late are quite beautiful.
A birthing of something new.
I am very intrigued that it started 9 months after we met our daughter and is continuing to blossom and grow.
take today for instance;
E, older brother, was playing with Grace and had to put her down and go work with his school work. She tightly wrapped her arms around his neck and wouldnt let go. He pried her off and went to his room. She was standing a few feet from me and I look over to see tears rolling down her face and hear tiny sniffles. I say "ooooh Grace is crying" and draw her into my arms to comfort her. He hears and comes into the room and takes her from me to restore her heart. Plays a few mins then tells her he must go work on his school work. Can you believe she starts to cry again. Big tears running down those sweet little Cheeks. I rocked her and whispered loving words in her ear. I am so thankful God continues to work in the bonding relationships in our home.

Yesterday in my grief I layed down to nap with her since I havent been sleeping well at night.(I havent done this since we were in Ecuador. Napped with her. I woke up before she did. As she started to wake and stir that sweet little hand searched in the bed to see if I was still there. After I stroked her face and hair for awhile she sat up and the first word out of her mouth was My oldest daughters name.
I started weeping again.

I remain,
Uner His wings,

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


the unknown.
Yet known by Him.
Who knows all.
He goes before me.
He prepares the way.
quietly savoring the memories
of what He has done.
Guideposts, standing stones in my past.
Reassuring me.
He was there then.
He is here now.
Alpha and Omega.
Who was,
and is,
and is to come.
The remberance of Him whispering words over me.
A song in my heart.
how long has it been
since i heard its melody?
Strong and sure
beating in my heart
a tapping of the foot in time.
"when darkness seems to hide his face
i rest on his unchanging grace"
my breathing slows
the calm and assurance
on my being.
until i am on my knees...
on my face.
"on Christ the solid Rock i stand,
all other ground is sinking sand"
i can still feel His breath,
warming the cold places
was it that long ago we were here
in this place
He is mine.
i am his.

i remain,
under His wings,

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Wanna laugh???

Feeling like my readers might want a good laugh today.
Busy day.
little G awakes from nap and we do the potty ritual.
I redo her hair as it looks like she slept on her head.
Her big sister was here. they chatted it up and sister went home.
I sat down with little G in my lap to check e-mail and blogs etc.
 She is jammin to the song on my music player.
Then, she says un-gee ungee and is waving her hand in the air in front of her.
Next says Coo coo and signs cook.

The light goes off in my head.

She said "hungry." "hungry" "cook" "cook".
Like, "what are you doing siting here. Get up and cook supper." :)

Monday, April 4, 2011

My new glasses

Remember I mentioned wanting God to reveal himself today.
After little G and I went to pick up my new glasses
I was amazed at how my new lenses brought everything into focus
How everything seems clearer.
Then I read this post
I think this was an answer to my prayer....
what do you think?

mending the heart

As Easter approaches
the leaves are budding
unfurling on the trees....
Like trying to reach the throne of the creator.
The earth is groaning to be as it was created in the beginning.
Just as we
for the day
that there is no more pain,
no more sin,
no more sorrow.

that is how my heart feels.
Hard work going on.
having to stand by and watch as others struggle
knowing there is nothing I can do to fix it.
longing for things to be made right.
knowing it wont happen
until eternity.

Im studying with a group of ladies on Revelation.
I have been praying to be a woman that God sends a new revelation
of himself.
There are times
in the process
things need to be taken away
to allow room
for the new.

Like a Spring cleaning in the house.

And mending of the heart.

come join me as I search for how He is revealing himself today.
Lets give thanks for the work he has done
the work he continues to do.....

I remain,
Under His wings,