The song "Hold my heart" by Tenth Avenue North has really been the top on my list of favorites lately. I dont know how to do links or any of that fancy stuff......
"One tear in the driving rain.
Once voice in a sea of pain.
Could the maker of the stars,
hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life is all I am,
right now I can barely stand.
If you really are who you say you are could you come close and hold my heart?"
The reason I love it so much is that I know. I know The only way I am not sobbing by eyes out is that God has been so close. Really and truely it wasnt Him that needed to move, but it was me. I need to take the walls down and take the time to really tell Him every little detail. I used to really be the person that held onto those little things or not go to Him with the details that I felt didnt matter to him. " I wont keep Him tied up on something so trivial."
He has done such a HUGE thing on "little G"s behalf. I know that He loves my sweet "little G".
Today is her fourth birthday and so far I havent shed a tear. I praise God that He has taken such wonderful care of her. I know that her Orphanage loves her and that she has been blessed. I dont know if she knows or understands that she has a family yet. But I know. She has a sweet little bed, in a sweet little room. A mother a father and two.... really three big brothers. Just anxiously waiting to shower her with Love........
Happy Birthday Little G!
Living life..... From The Heart.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Power of Crying out
I feel the need to share about a little gift I recieved a few months ago. This came from a new friend of mine. She is the one that shared the first pictures of "little G".
Its a book, "The Power of Crying out"was written by Bill Gothard. This little book can be read easily in one sitting. It was a timely message for me when we got the phone call to prepare for our trip to Ecuador and then two days recieved the call that the Childrens Council didnt meet. To say I was devastated is a huge understatement. I understand that our Adoption agency director was only relaying the info she had received. I wish there was someone that I coud blame. Someone that I could be angry with or give a piece of my mind. But its like the picture of everyone pointing to everyone else. "its their fault". That was in September.
This book is simple. Shares Gods word in small increments and I want to share my favorite part:
"God Hears those in great need"
We see in scripture that the greater someones helplessness and need the more God seems to emphasize His commitment to hear their cry in trouble. God affirms His special concern for the fatherless, widows, strangers(foreigners). and the poor- people with exceptional needs and crises that others do not experience.
God testified to Moses that if oppressed widows and orphans called out to Him, "I will surely hear their cry" Solomon said that God "will deliver the needy when he cries, the poor also, and him who has no helper. Exodus 22:22-23 and Psalm 72:12
Gods compassion in such cases of special hardship is something He expects us to share as well. He tells us,"Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and no be heard. And He warned Moses and the people at Sinai," You shall not afflict them in any way, and they cry at all to Me , I will surely hear their cry; and My wrath will become hot adn I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.
Later in the book Bill Gothard writes that we can intercede on others behalf. " Samuel cried our to the Lord for Israel, and the Lord answered hi,. I Samuel 7:9
"call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. Psalm 50:15
I cannot believe we are still here,
in this waiting place.
Reading blogs of other families starting their adoption stories with stars in their eyes watching God move in a mighty way, other families getting the phone call that they can fly, other families bringing their little ones home. Yes there are times I want to call everyone to start blowing the ballooons, bake the cake. "We are having a pity party!" But I dont. I know that we are where God wants us to be. We said "Yes" to His call in our lives. He didnt say how or when. We know that He is still at work and that when it is the right time it will happen.
Our little girl will be celebrating her 4th birthday this upcoming week. I am choosing instead to dwell on what is true.
What is true?
1- Little G is in a wonderful Orphanage. She gets aqua therapy, horseback riding therapies, psychologist on staff and rides in the van to a special preschool 3 days a week.
2- She had eye surgery at a year old to remove cataracts and the lenses. She is legally blind without her glasses but we are so thankful that the surgery was done when she was little.
3-we have all the funds to travel- God provided what we needed when we needed it every step of the way!
4- we are ready for her to come home. When we get "the phone call" we are ready to go.
5- we dont have to worry about her being taken to an institution. Unlinke the little ones in Orphanages in other countries She is just fine.
All that really matters is that she needs a family and we said yes.
Please continue to pray and cry out for us and our "little G". There are many times that my focus isnt where it needs to be and I feel weak, weary.......
Its a book, "The Power of Crying out"was written by Bill Gothard. This little book can be read easily in one sitting. It was a timely message for me when we got the phone call to prepare for our trip to Ecuador and then two days recieved the call that the Childrens Council didnt meet. To say I was devastated is a huge understatement. I understand that our Adoption agency director was only relaying the info she had received. I wish there was someone that I coud blame. Someone that I could be angry with or give a piece of my mind. But its like the picture of everyone pointing to everyone else. "its their fault". That was in September.
This book is simple. Shares Gods word in small increments and I want to share my favorite part:
"God Hears those in great need"
We see in scripture that the greater someones helplessness and need the more God seems to emphasize His commitment to hear their cry in trouble. God affirms His special concern for the fatherless, widows, strangers(foreigners). and the poor- people with exceptional needs and crises that others do not experience.
God testified to Moses that if oppressed widows and orphans called out to Him, "I will surely hear their cry" Solomon said that God "will deliver the needy when he cries, the poor also, and him who has no helper. Exodus 22:22-23 and Psalm 72:12
Gods compassion in such cases of special hardship is something He expects us to share as well. He tells us,"Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and no be heard. And He warned Moses and the people at Sinai," You shall not afflict them in any way, and they cry at all to Me , I will surely hear their cry; and My wrath will become hot adn I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.
Later in the book Bill Gothard writes that we can intercede on others behalf. " Samuel cried our to the Lord for Israel, and the Lord answered hi,. I Samuel 7:9
"call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me. Psalm 50:15
I cannot believe we are still here,
in this waiting place.
Reading blogs of other families starting their adoption stories with stars in their eyes watching God move in a mighty way, other families getting the phone call that they can fly, other families bringing their little ones home. Yes there are times I want to call everyone to start blowing the ballooons, bake the cake. "We are having a pity party!" But I dont. I know that we are where God wants us to be. We said "Yes" to His call in our lives. He didnt say how or when. We know that He is still at work and that when it is the right time it will happen.
Our little girl will be celebrating her 4th birthday this upcoming week. I am choosing instead to dwell on what is true.
What is true?
1- Little G is in a wonderful Orphanage. She gets aqua therapy, horseback riding therapies, psychologist on staff and rides in the van to a special preschool 3 days a week.
2- She had eye surgery at a year old to remove cataracts and the lenses. She is legally blind without her glasses but we are so thankful that the surgery was done when she was little.
3-we have all the funds to travel- God provided what we needed when we needed it every step of the way!
4- we are ready for her to come home. When we get "the phone call" we are ready to go.
5- we dont have to worry about her being taken to an institution. Unlinke the little ones in Orphanages in other countries She is just fine.
All that really matters is that she needs a family and we said yes.
Please continue to pray and cry out for us and our "little G". There are many times that my focus isnt where it needs to be and I feel weak, weary.......
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Fall projects
Well I have projects on my list. Dont we all. Our Fall weather was a little crazy. Stayed warm and humid so the painting projects kept waiting for it to cool off and have a sunny day. Then it snapped cool, or should I say cold. For this Florida girl there is a fine line between cooling off and getting cold! I am waiting for it to warm up a bit so Eric and I can work on aplying the primer to the cabinet doors. I started this project this summer. I bought the handles and Im ready to just get it done and marked off my list. It will be a dramatic change - I think I will really like it once its done. Maybe today I will have a few drawers complete so Eric can drill the holes and put the beautiful handles on them. Maybe once its done DH will want to save the money to get the new countertops and farmhouse sink Im drooling over. Im also planning on touching up some baseboards and doors while I have the white enamel paint out. Dogs and boys......
The next project is sewing drapes. I have the rods- on clearance at Target. I made the Valences last summer. So all I have left to do before I can start sewing is purchase the lining. I guess since I live in Florida the drapes have to be lined. Oh well. I know I need to just do it right. It seems pretty straight forward so I am hoping to "just do it". that is my main problem. I have ideas and projects but I have a hard time starting and completing a task. As I mature (no getting older here!) I am getting better in this area of weakness. Im hoping when the in-laws get here in a few weeks they will have surprises waiting on them.
No adoption news. Thats all I have to say about that. God knows how my heart aches and He continues to be my strength and my shield. I will rest in Him. Under His wings. I am so very thankful to have met Nanny. She is the daughter of the family we will stay with in Ecuador. They work for SIFAT and our church has joined them over five years in a row doing missions trips each summer. They are like family to our church. I have only met them in passing but my oldest son got to go to Ecuador a few summers ago. She was such an encouragement last night and prayed with me and held me while I sobbed. They are excited to be a part of our adventure and have been praying for us and "little G". I cant wait to meet the WHOLE family. (she showed me pictures of her brothers and their families) What an exciting time to look forward to.
The next project is sewing drapes. I have the rods- on clearance at Target. I made the Valences last summer. So all I have left to do before I can start sewing is purchase the lining. I guess since I live in Florida the drapes have to be lined. Oh well. I know I need to just do it right. It seems pretty straight forward so I am hoping to "just do it". that is my main problem. I have ideas and projects but I have a hard time starting and completing a task. As I mature (no getting older here!) I am getting better in this area of weakness. Im hoping when the in-laws get here in a few weeks they will have surprises waiting on them.
No adoption news. Thats all I have to say about that. God knows how my heart aches and He continues to be my strength and my shield. I will rest in Him. Under His wings. I am so very thankful to have met Nanny. She is the daughter of the family we will stay with in Ecuador. They work for SIFAT and our church has joined them over five years in a row doing missions trips each summer. They are like family to our church. I have only met them in passing but my oldest son got to go to Ecuador a few summers ago. She was such an encouragement last night and prayed with me and held me while I sobbed. They are excited to be a part of our adventure and have been praying for us and "little G". I cant wait to meet the WHOLE family. (she showed me pictures of her brothers and their families) What an exciting time to look forward to.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The Message
I have a dear friend.
Rather worn and coming apart at the seams- literally.
I got this version of the Bible back before I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I did a mural for some friends opening a Christian book store and they overheard my comments about wanting one. This was their thank you. Well, my husband accepted a job in Ft Lauderdale and we spent a year and a half living 12 hours apart waiting for our house to sell here, him living in a camper there. We drove back and forth, homeschooling made the traveling easier. Well in the midst of all that turmiol I went to the Dr and told her how tired and worn down I was. I had bloodwork done and tested positive for Lyme disease, Epstein Barre titers were elevated and Human Parvo titers elevated as well as anemic....... I guess I was feeling a bit run down! This Bible became such a breath of fresh air. I still love the KJV because its familiar. Its what I memorized as a child. But sometimes this dear friend has a way of making me laugh, taking my breath away, bringing new insight to truths Ive been pondering. Through our adoption journey Its lost its spine and back cover. I called the publisher to request a replacement. They promptly sent one but I couldnt bring myself to using it. I instead gave it to my 15 yo son. I pray that he grows to love his as much as I do mine. A few Sundays ago someone saw me fanning myself with the back cover, she laughed and asked if I had it special made to do that..... its perfect for when you are having a "personal season"!!
I may try to find a carrier of something to put it in to protect it from further damage.........
Today I read:
" Are you tired?
Worn out?
Burned out on religion?
Come to me.
Get away with me and you'll recover your life.
I'll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I wont lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
- Matthew 11:28-30
Ahhhh my sweet sweet Savior.
Just what I needed.
Rather worn and coming apart at the seams- literally.
I got this version of the Bible back before I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I did a mural for some friends opening a Christian book store and they overheard my comments about wanting one. This was their thank you. Well, my husband accepted a job in Ft Lauderdale and we spent a year and a half living 12 hours apart waiting for our house to sell here, him living in a camper there. We drove back and forth, homeschooling made the traveling easier. Well in the midst of all that turmiol I went to the Dr and told her how tired and worn down I was. I had bloodwork done and tested positive for Lyme disease, Epstein Barre titers were elevated and Human Parvo titers elevated as well as anemic....... I guess I was feeling a bit run down! This Bible became such a breath of fresh air. I still love the KJV because its familiar. Its what I memorized as a child. But sometimes this dear friend has a way of making me laugh, taking my breath away, bringing new insight to truths Ive been pondering. Through our adoption journey Its lost its spine and back cover. I called the publisher to request a replacement. They promptly sent one but I couldnt bring myself to using it. I instead gave it to my 15 yo son. I pray that he grows to love his as much as I do mine. A few Sundays ago someone saw me fanning myself with the back cover, she laughed and asked if I had it special made to do that..... its perfect for when you are having a "personal season"!!
I may try to find a carrier of something to put it in to protect it from further damage.........
Today I read:
" Are you tired?
Worn out?
Burned out on religion?
Come to me.
Get away with me and you'll recover your life.
I'll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I wont lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
- Matthew 11:28-30
Ahhhh my sweet sweet Savior.
Just what I needed.
Monday, November 16, 2009
E-mail chain letters
Im not one for all those chain letters you get. Say a prayer send it to 5 or ten or fifteen people and something special will happen..... I got one from a dear friend this morning and I love the sentiment inside. Let me share it with you.
May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have recieved and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have recieved and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Immigrations
You may choose to look the other way
but you can never say again that you did not know.
- Nelson Mandela
I just want to say we have the most wonderful officer at the immigrations office trying to get our case signed off on. I called her yesterday and found out that the letter we got in the mail was mailed out before they talked to the Consular at the Embassy. SO its null and void. We will get a letter to rescind it. No big deal. I knew we had to get the letter from Ecuador. We are in the same place. She is ready to just get it passed through as soon as we get the letter. I have her fax number and an e-mail address to get it to her quickly.
I called my adoption agency director to discuss it. She was sad. Two steps forward one step back.
We have a real deadline to get the paperwork turned in to the immigrations office without having to do more paperwork. December 17th.
We talked about how we would work things now that the Holidays are around the corner and the process taking 6-8 weeks once we fly to Ecuador. Baby steps. No word if there was a meeting last week. I had really thought since it was coming from someone new that it would be the truth. That we really would get word that it was done.
I still feel optimistic but almost in a detached way.
I just dont know if I can think that we will celebrate her birthday with her on the 24th.
It will be interesting to see how this all comes together.
but you can never say again that you did not know.
- Nelson Mandela
I just want to say we have the most wonderful officer at the immigrations office trying to get our case signed off on. I called her yesterday and found out that the letter we got in the mail was mailed out before they talked to the Consular at the Embassy. SO its null and void. We will get a letter to rescind it. No big deal. I knew we had to get the letter from Ecuador. We are in the same place. She is ready to just get it passed through as soon as we get the letter. I have her fax number and an e-mail address to get it to her quickly.
I called my adoption agency director to discuss it. She was sad. Two steps forward one step back.
We have a real deadline to get the paperwork turned in to the immigrations office without having to do more paperwork. December 17th.
We talked about how we would work things now that the Holidays are around the corner and the process taking 6-8 weeks once we fly to Ecuador. Baby steps. No word if there was a meeting last week. I had really thought since it was coming from someone new that it would be the truth. That we really would get word that it was done.
I still feel optimistic but almost in a detached way.
I just dont know if I can think that we will celebrate her birthday with her on the 24th.
It will be interesting to see how this all comes together.
Friday, November 6, 2009
I-heart.
I went with the youth group to see Hillsong United's new documentary film in Gulf Shores, AL. It was a great time and the film was so moving. They are a band that travels worldwide to sing praise and worship music. They were restless in the fact that on the way to the hotel or the concert venue they saw the poverty and pain in other cultures and wondered if their music was really all that they should be doing. Did it have an effect on the crowds or those around them? It was such a deep film that I am still running it around in my head and heart........
Here's a verse they quoted:
Amos 5:21-24 Message
"I cant stand your religious meetings.
I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religious projects, your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes, your public relations and image making.
Ive had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to ME?"
I pray many of the youth were able to soak in the message.
I pray that our youth pastor will be able to use it as a starting point with our teens. Our church is already a missions orientated church. We build wheelchair ramps in the community and have many benevolence outreaches. Our Youth group also has a week of outreach each summer and don't forget the missions trips to Ecuador!
Adoption update:
We got the I-800 approval in the mail Wednesday evening. I didn't think anything of it since last week our officer said we would have to wait for Ecuador to sign off on the papers first. SO I thought this "provisional approval" notice meant,"we have your papers and it will be approved when we get all the information we have requested". My adoption agency director called yesterday and said "Guess what, I just got a notice from Immigrations." She was all excited."Yeah we got one of those yesterday" I replied. no big deal right? "I thought you would've called me!" She said all excited. "Well it doesn't really mean anything. (long pause) does it?" I said/ asked. "Yes! It just means its provisional until she is a citizen!" Who knew?!
Its a good thing I can laugh at myself.... really.
Ive placed a call in to our officer to see if she knows something we don't.
You know, Ecuador said they would sign off on it last week - then we hear nothing before they take a Holiday. Ive been praying they did it and just hadn't told anyone yet. ;)
So I will close for today. This is a moving quote from I-heart.
I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
but still I can do something;
I will not refuse to do something I can do." - Helen Keller
Here's a verse they quoted:
Amos 5:21-24 Message
"I cant stand your religious meetings.
I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religious projects, your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes, your public relations and image making.
Ive had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to ME?"
I pray many of the youth were able to soak in the message.
I pray that our youth pastor will be able to use it as a starting point with our teens. Our church is already a missions orientated church. We build wheelchair ramps in the community and have many benevolence outreaches. Our Youth group also has a week of outreach each summer and don't forget the missions trips to Ecuador!
Adoption update:
We got the I-800 approval in the mail Wednesday evening. I didn't think anything of it since last week our officer said we would have to wait for Ecuador to sign off on the papers first. SO I thought this "provisional approval" notice meant,"we have your papers and it will be approved when we get all the information we have requested". My adoption agency director called yesterday and said "Guess what, I just got a notice from Immigrations." She was all excited."Yeah we got one of those yesterday" I replied. no big deal right? "I thought you would've called me!" She said all excited. "Well it doesn't really mean anything. (long pause) does it?" I said/ asked. "Yes! It just means its provisional until she is a citizen!" Who knew?!
Its a good thing I can laugh at myself.... really.
Ive placed a call in to our officer to see if she knows something we don't.
You know, Ecuador said they would sign off on it last week - then we hear nothing before they take a Holiday. Ive been praying they did it and just hadn't told anyone yet. ;)
So I will close for today. This is a moving quote from I-heart.
I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
but still I can do something;
I will not refuse to do something I can do." - Helen Keller
Monday, November 2, 2009
Worry
"If there is no solution to the problem dont waste time worrying about it. If there is a solution to the problem dont waste time worrying about it." This was just sent to me from a friend in Italy. She adopted a sweet little one this year. What great advice.
I even know there are several scriptures in the Bible about worrying. I know it wont help.
Just tired of being in the waiting place. Still no word.
I have been really working hard at enjoying the time with friends and family. Having special nights out with my hubby and such. I know once things work out that I will be glad that we did. But its so hard to keep my mind focused in the right direction.
Back to that place of having the knowledge in my head but getting it to the application phase.
I even know there are several scriptures in the Bible about worrying. I know it wont help.
Just tired of being in the waiting place. Still no word.
I have been really working hard at enjoying the time with friends and family. Having special nights out with my hubby and such. I know once things work out that I will be glad that we did. But its so hard to keep my mind focused in the right direction.
Back to that place of having the knowledge in my head but getting it to the application phase.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Food & family
So Im not much of a Chef but I have really enjoyed watching food network lately. Our favorite of course is Alton Brown. Tonight we made the 40 clove chicken recipe. So easy but start cooking it so that you arent starving to death as you smell the chicken and 40 cloves of garlic roasting in the oven! Divine. I also made mock mashed potatoes. Boil the cauliflower, drain , add cream cheese and butter and puree. Then we added salt and pepper. Thanks Food Network. Easy and yummy dinner. I tend to use all my creative energy in other places instead of the kitchen.
If you are checking in for Adoption update. We havent heard from the Council yet. We were told 2 weeks ago that it would be signed off on last week. I am praying with all thats in me that it was signed off on but due to it being in another country, same time zone which is fun to help us remember when to pray.
We did hear from our immigrations officer four times this week. This moves me when I think of someone in a govt office working so hard for us to bring "little G" home. They will approve it once Ecuador signs off on it. She said this was only the second adoption to come her way from ecuador so she is learning the ropes. They talked to the Consular at the Embassy and it sounded like they talked like it was going to be signed off on as a matter of fact.
We also heard from the family that we had planned to stay with in Ecuador. Seems like that isnt working out, but I trust God to know whats best. I was concerned about the money issues to stay at the guesthouse and today a dear friend at church said that they had donated to our fund this morning. (God just sold their house and they will be moving in 2 weeks!) I told my husband I felt like God was saying,"just let me take care of it. Its going to be okay." I will miss that friend terribly, but I am so thankful that God has allowed a miracle in their life so she can be closer to her family.
Huge praises- I have been asked to submit a bid on a mural for our church's nursery and I got a grant to teach art classes in the DJJ system! Not knowing how God will work out the timing.....
I keep praying we can celebrate "Little G's" 4th birthday with her. Its the 24th of Nov. That is my desire.
If you are checking in for Adoption update. We havent heard from the Council yet. We were told 2 weeks ago that it would be signed off on last week. I am praying with all thats in me that it was signed off on but due to it being in another country, same time zone which is fun to help us remember when to pray.
We did hear from our immigrations officer four times this week. This moves me when I think of someone in a govt office working so hard for us to bring "little G" home. They will approve it once Ecuador signs off on it. She said this was only the second adoption to come her way from ecuador so she is learning the ropes. They talked to the Consular at the Embassy and it sounded like they talked like it was going to be signed off on as a matter of fact.
We also heard from the family that we had planned to stay with in Ecuador. Seems like that isnt working out, but I trust God to know whats best. I was concerned about the money issues to stay at the guesthouse and today a dear friend at church said that they had donated to our fund this morning. (God just sold their house and they will be moving in 2 weeks!) I told my husband I felt like God was saying,"just let me take care of it. Its going to be okay." I will miss that friend terribly, but I am so thankful that God has allowed a miracle in their life so she can be closer to her family.
Huge praises- I have been asked to submit a bid on a mural for our church's nursery and I got a grant to teach art classes in the DJJ system! Not knowing how God will work out the timing.....
I keep praying we can celebrate "Little G's" 4th birthday with her. Its the 24th of Nov. That is my desire.
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