Wednesday, January 20, 2010

My father- My shepherd

A dear friend called to check on me this morning and we once again had such a beautiful conversation and bible time. She has been good to check in when prompted by the Lord and just see how Im REALLY doing.
SO I mentioned to her that I am not good at waiting.
Im not good at being patient
Im not good at being quiet.
I cant do this.
Her reply, "But you are."
SIGH......... like a big whooosh.
I glance around me. Hey, I can do it.... look at me ma no hands!!!!

After we talked it out pretty thoroughly..... ha ha!
I hung up with one assurance.
This deep fear, dread, gnawing inside my chest.
"How am I going to know what we are supposed to do?"
"How do I know Im not going to screw up?"
Just begging God,
"Please, tell me, Im trying so hard to be quiet. Im trying to be still........"
(reminded me of telling my youngest. You can sit still this long. I know you can, Ive seen it. Remember how long Sesame Street is? Thats how long we will wait. Just one Sesame Street. And we both know you can sit still and quiet that long dont we????" )

God says in His word that He loves us so much more than our earthly fathers.
As a parent we make sure our children know the rules and boundaries.
We know they try so hard.
We want them to be successful.
So we set the rules in advance.
We make sure they know what our expectations are.
If my father was good enough to make sure I knew what was expected of me,
wouldnt that lead us to believe that God, our heavenly father, would so so much more.
I am hanging on to that.
We will know.
We are his sheep....
We know His voice.
I need to relax and know He will make sure P and I know what we are supposed to do.
He is our heavenly father.
He loves us so much more than our earthly fathers. (and they were and are so good to us!)

My words may come back to haunt me.
In the beginning I said, " This isnt about adopting a child. This is about being obedient. God will have to do this."

Mind you- my mind was all on the money part.
I really thought that was what would be the issue.
But EVERYTHING has been so smooth.
Got our passports in RECORD time without paying the extra fees.
Our Immigration officer has been more than incredible.
The whole thing.... amazing.
But this red tape.
This one HUGE thing.
"This is not about adopting a child. Its about being obedient. God will have to do this."

Under His wings,

1 comment:

  1. beautiful post. i cannot imagine what you are going through as we have been blessed with the first child before the adoption happened--and we are still waiting but not with a picture or any contact. bless you for leaving this to God.


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