chatterbox

Grwoing up I can remember being called a chatterbox.
Can you?
Here's what little G had to "say" on the way home last night.
We went out and about and were returning home past her bedtime.
I think she was trying to keep busy so she wouldnt fall asleep!
The conversation went like this, but not EXACTLY mind you:
"dOG,bird, drink,baNANA, dOG, dOG, hot, HHHot, HHot,stop, eat, baNANA, apple, ba you get the picture.
A half hour ride...... the sounds are bold.
It was a quiet ride home
but little G had a lot to say!

I remain,
Under His wings,
Anna

Conincidence????

I want to share a discussion I had with my daughter yesterday. Let me tell you that A is a best friend of mine. Since she is so much like her father she is a perfect compliment to me. Plus since she is a part of my family she "gets me", she knows my baggage, knows my past...... she is also studying to be a special ed/ elem ed teacher and LOVES learning.
So I asked her,
this might be random,
a conincidence,
this is what G did,
what do you think.
Here is the story:
I mentioned I have a leap frog magnetic fridge toy that you put the letters in, G was not speaking when we adopted her. So this is a great tool to use in language development. Ive been playing WITH Her alot. She needs to see our mouth moving to learn how the words/ sounds are made.(she also places her hand on my throat when Im talking... very sweet at church when we are singing hymns) We sat and played and I got the letter B out. It sang the song about the sound the letter made and I kept repeating it.
I said," B makes the sound buh." "Buh... baby."
She signed "Ball".
I said ,"YES G Buh... Ball".(while almost falling on the floor with heart failure)
"Buh... Baby."and so on.
P Was offended that I thought it randomly happened that way.
A just wasnt sure but also wanted to believe there was NO WAY it would be a conincidence....
what do you think?

Then just a bit ago G came and found me reading my bloglist and signed,"Shoes, socks, bicycle, want."
HOLY SMOKES BATMAN!!!!
Could this be for real?!
Really, my mind cant comprehend that she was really putting words together to tell me that she wanted to go out and ride her bicycle......
REALLY?!

speaking of which.... B... buh.... bicycle begins with B......

We're going out to play.....
I remain,
Under His wings,
Anna

Sign language update and other misc. thoughts

Im sitting here enjoying the quiet while little G naps.
Yes, I enjoy naptime. I get almost giddy at the thought that she is going down for a nap and even have days that I count down the minutes. I dont say that in a bad way. please dont think less of me. I look forward to having my quiet time with the Lord, reading a book or two, knitting, and catching up on my e-mail or blog list. Sometimes I get to wandering around from one blog to the next and find some treasures. I find myself feeling guilty for enjoying these simple things but as a mother of a child with a certain special-ness I am finding I have to do some things that I enjoy and restore my spirit. You know the part that makes me who I am......
Then little G gets up in the morning she is ready to rock and roll WAY before I am. P brings her into my bed and she will lie with me signing away, sometimes louder than others. Weve joked that she can be a motor mouth in the car and we dont hear a peep! ha ha!My goal tho is working on communication.... opening those closed doors. That requires alot of work on my part. I am talking talking talking all morning, signing and trying to put actions with words and signs. Over emphasizing sounds.... Im not exactly sure how the speech therapists do it, but Im giving it my best effort and thankfully seeing HUGE results. Ive mentioned before the grief that washes over me. Why why why did we have to wait so long. Why couldnt Grace communicate before we came along? She is so so smart. Its just not right. Im not trying to blame God or anyone. I just feel such deep grief. I am glad that I am finding these emotions and the anger that Ive had bottled up is finding its way out..... these feelings that God created.... how to give them names and therefore heal in some small way. For me to ask Grace a question and instead of her stare at me blankly I am given a firm "NO!" yes... the dreaded word...... maybe there will be a day that I am not liking it so much, but for now...... honey to my heart. She yelled at the great dane the other night. Reese likes to get into a barking fit every now and again. Most of the time tattling on Max the Golden retriever for lying on her pillow. Anyhow, Reese was barking and barking..... G yelled "GO!" signed go and said shhhhh signing it. She also signed stop....... I found a toy at the consignment shop before we brought G home and pulled it out the other day. A leap frog magnetic letter/ sounds player. The first day she couldnt work it on her own. Over and over we picked a magnetic letter pushed it in and listened to the song. Ive placed a stool in the kitchen so that she can play while Im cooking. Such fun..... and yes....now she can do all the functions on her own. I found an incredible tricycle too and yesterday pulled it out so she could take it for a spin. I showed her how to push one pedal at a time, kept telling her Forte for strong..... Im thinking it wont be long before she has it mastered.
Today, while watching her video she squealed with delight when we signed bicycle..... just like she did the other night when her repeated signs for ice cream produced the real thing. (Im that excited that she can now come find us and sign potty! We just hit the landmark time that we arent having to remind her every two hours and take her. Now she hunts us up waving that sweet chubby fist) Im not sure where this journey is going to take us.... but I am so glad that were on our way!

Under His wings,
Anna

as of 9/13:
43. stop
44.go *
45.hurt
46.yes
47. no *
48.cereal
49.book
50.read
51.thirsty
52. hot *
53. cold
54.happy
55.wait

today's count....hold your hat folks..... this is scary good!!!!
56. dry
57. wet
58.pig she says oink oink
59. goat -its a hard sign
60.chicken
61.bicycle
62.boy
63.bath
64.clean
65.wash hands
66.play
67.cereal
68.owl
69.cry
70.sad
71. and can you believe Ball wasnt on a list yet?!

ive not added all the signs because I wait until I am sure she is actually using the sign and knows what it means. Having numbers next to all of them is just mind boggling for me. I think I need to go take a nap!

three more reviews

The books piled up while we were out of country and now that weve been home there are so many things I want to do while G is napping that my time is spread pretty thin.
Im glad to report I have two more books read and Im ready to write the reviews.

The frst book "Love is a flame". Compiled by James Stuart Bell. This was an easy to read book. I enjoyed the style. Not too preachy and not really a "self- help" type read. The book was filled with true stories that are quite inspiring. At the end of each story are throught provoking questions and things to think about. I highly recommend this book to all those that are happily married as well as others in a low point, this book just might help re-kindle the flame. I look forward to sharing it with a few other women in my circle of life.

The second book is "She walks in beauty" by Siri Mitchell. This book was set in the late 1800's in New York during a time called the guilded age.The main character Clara was in the midst of the process of "coming out" in society. THe book tells the saga of Clara and her best friend as they navigate thorugh what coming out in society meant for these two young women. Both girls had families urging them in one direction that lead to wealth and power. Will these girls choose love instead?
I enjoyed the plot of this book as well as the conflict. We are all faced with moral delimma and others expectations of us. The story was one I can easily reccomend to others. This book would get four out of five stars from me....

While I am at it I recieved another book titled "City on our knees" by Toby Mac over the weekend and had anxiously awaited its arrival. I read it in one day/ evening and enjoyed it as much as I'd hoped I would. Toby Mac uses the lyrics of the songs on his latest CD as a springboard for the chapters and it is a compilation of inspiring stories, quotes and Bible verses put together to lead us to deeper thought on what separates us and how to unite as a body to do God's work. I could easily see this book enjoyed by youth and adults alike, as a springboard for small group discussions or even private quiet time reading. I can easily give this book five out of five stars!

In closing I need to add that the books I reviewed here were sent to me by Bethany House Publishers for the purpose of reviewing them. The reciept of the book in no way influenced my opinion. I would like to thank Bethany House for the priveledge to review books for them. I enjoy it so much!!!

I might add.....
I have four more books......
waiting to be read and reviewed!
Ha ha!!!

BALL!

Last night we did a run through of our Thursday night plans. That is the night I get to go knit with my peeps. We tried it once but Im having a hard time remembering how long it takes to get ready and out the door..... so we met at a gas station along the way. This time it worked perfectly. G came to knit with me for about 30 mins so the ladies could say hi, then P came over after working out at the gym just around the corner. (she did the happy dance for him- so cute! you should see him glow!) I had supper ready so they went home together, ate supper and played.

I arrived home a little after nine. He had just tucked her in bed and told me to go in since she would still be awake. I loved on her and asked if she had fun with daddy. "Did you play toys?Did you have fun with Daddy?" She started signing and I thought,"yeah here we go." thought nothing of it really.(it seems like every chance she gets someones complete attention she has to sign through all 40-something signs) But she kept singing Ball and I just nodded and smiled. "yes G, ball..... pelota" She signed potty so I took her in, knowing he probably just took her.(but if you are a seasoned mother you know to NEVER ignore that!!!) Put her back in bed and kissed her. I fixed myself some supper and sat down to eat and watch the last of the seasons finale of Gray's and this is what I saw on the floor:
Took my breath away.
Tears streaming down my face........ Ball.
G had something really important to tell me.....
They played with the ball.......
Still just chokes me up.......
have I told you how much I love being a mother lately?????
really..... I do......


I remain,
Uner His wings,
Anna

Count the cost?

I was reading a few blogs this morning. One really got my goat. Another family struggling to muddle through the adoption process was asked about the cost of adoption. "isnt that alot of money for one child?"

Really?!

Let me go full circle to get to where I am right now, Many of you have followed along with us on our journey, It wasnt easy. A 3-6 month wait turned into almost two years. In Jan/Feb of this year it really seemed like it was not going to happen. The council was not going to grandfather our adoption into the old accreditiation, there were only a few slots and how could we presume that our agency would get one whenever they decided to fill them? But we knew deep in our spirits God had not said to back out. Well meaning people told us it was okay, everyone would understand if we had to walk away. Weve talked about this before. God was the one that led us to this point and we said all along we didnt have the finances, if he wanted this He would have to do it. So one by one as each little fee was due we somehow had what we needed and moved on.(read my last post) When we mailed off to get our passports we got them in weeks- unheard of! Even our USCIS approval was a piece of cake- some families have a real hard time with this one. But we kept saying that God had to do it, we just couldnt. And we even knew as crazy as it sounds that maybe this wasnt all about adopting a child. Sometimes I have found that you think God is leading you in a direction but not for the reason you thought. ;) We finally had a breakthrough and ended up....... with a sweet little girl in our homes.
Adoptions arent easy.
Life isnt easy.

We havent done the math.
I am sure once tax time comes we will know down to the penny how much was spent to bring little G home. And when I think of the total, all the things that couldve been bought with that amount of money you know what I think....... I wouldve spent even more. Because new clothes, new shoes, a new purse, a haircut or manicure... a new car..... NONE of it is irreplaceable!!!! Once you pull out of the lot with that brand new car it starts to depreciate.... it gets dirty and needs to be maintained. We spend money on "stuff" and in one year or two or three or ten....... guess where it will be in a dump or yardsale or thrift store!! (Remember what Christ said in Matthew 6:19 Do not store up treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal...)

My little G....... shes a treasure.
Money cant buy what she gives me.
You just cant place a monetary value on a living breathing human being!
Think of the price he paid to adopt us into his family......

Thats all Ive got to say about that.

I remain,
Under His wings,
Anna

Writing thank you notes

Ive had many thoughts running around in my head as of late. One of the most profound thoughts takes my breath away. So many times along the way someone decided to sacrifice on behalf of our Little G. I recieved a check in the mail from a bloggy friend that has never met us in person,someone ordered notecards and slipped extra in the check to help pay for G's glasses, a family whos adoption fell apart donated their money to our adoption..... the exact amt we needed to be done. A family met us at the airport to welcome us home..... Many many people that I go to church with every Sunday sacrificed during such hard economic times to help us bring little G home. Show Hope- the memorial fund started by Stephen Curtis Chapman's family.There are the friends that pick up the phone and sacrifice time to check on us. A family in our church bought a baby gate and some extra cute outfits- the first Sunday we were home she asked what we needed and I quickly replied," we need a baby gate." Within a few hours she was at the door with one.....Instead of throwing a shower the ladies in the church took the money they wouldve spent on a gift and put it on a visa card. To get two of those on our journey was simply God. Thats the only thing I can say. They helped to purchase the airline tickets to Guayaquil to complete our paperwork and a few other unexpected expenses. There were many...... I could ramble on and on. It just feels surreal to know that all we did was say "YES" fill out the paperwork and start the process one baby step at a time. Two years later I have a beautiful daughter. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont have the thought. "it really happened, G is really home, shes really ours." How can I find words to write a thank you to these people????? I sit down to write a letter for the Church and I cannot express how humbled I am each Sunday to look in the faces of those friends/ family and know that they are part of our BIG PICTURE. The prayer team encouraging us each little baby step of the way... I am not sure how God wouldve done it without them, I know in my heart of hearts that this was meant to be and he wouldve found a way. But to know that we have recieved such a gift as this........

This girl that has so many words......
How do you say thank you?

I remain,
Under His wings,
Anna

G with her great grandpa

G reading her book with mommy before bed. "if you give a mouse a cookie with handknit mouse and cookie" - gift from a Ravelry friend, Stephanie.

can a brag a bit????

These were taken at the park on Sunday.... Had a great time!

TODAY WAS A FULL DAY!
Little G had her first Drs appt. She did so well..... we could tell she knew how to act at the Drs office. (fake sneezing included.... sigh.) The Dr wanted blood to get a base line for thyroid and the other basics. Ended up needing to stick her twice. Remind me next time- left hand! Hardly even know she was being stuck. I had a hard time figuring out which song to sing with her because all of them are game/ handplay songs.ha ha!We sang Jesus loves me. Was sweet. The Dr joined in with us. (Ive never had the actual Dr draw the blood either.)
I was disappointed though. I thought we woud leave the Drs office with all these plans and things we needed to do. I told P of my disappointment. He said it was because she agreed with everything we were doing. Its all good. Intead of being relieved I felt odd. Thank you dear husband for setting things straight and telling it how it was.
Our new total is 42!!!! THROWING CONFETTI!!!! The most exciting part is that she is really using them in context! She really is telling us her needs and even makes up signs to suit her needs. (we had pizza and G signed "more cheese bread please" WOW!!!!)She picked up a ball to throw for the dogs and was signing ball while she was trying to hold the ball!Multitasking! ;)

here are the new words:
27. candy
28. day
29 night* ni-ni
30. socks
31. Banana * (naah-naah)
32. turtle
33.horse
34. donkey
35.butterfly
36. together
37.teddy bear
38. dirty (I told her we needed to brush her teeth and she signed dirty!!! YAY!)
39.duck
40,ice-cream (helado)
41.cold
42. help

we can also add that she is trying to verbalize thank you- (Koo-koo)
She covers her mouth and tries to say excuse me shen she burps, quite frequently I might add. I think its because she drinks with her tongue. Like a baby drinking a bottle.
PLUS weve figured out that she knew head shoulders knees and toes, ring around the rosie and if youre happy and you know it...... I think I already mentioned that she knew Jesus loves me. I sang that with her in Ecuador.

sink or swim....... or float?????

I know its been while but life is so different with a toddler in the house!
We went to Orlando for a week and little G was able to meet her Paternal Grandparents. They were smitten, as well as her Aunt and Uncle and cousins. I know it was important for them to meet but find myself wondering if the trip was such a good idea so soon after we came home? Little G and I had a great time at the hotel, the pool was phenominal to say the least. Four pools linked together by a lazy river. She wasnt to sure about the water on the first day but by the time we left she would let go of me and kick her legs. (she was also busy signing water!!!)

I am still dealing with alot of emotions and feelings that are hard to give names. I think that after such a hard process I am just tired. Emotionally and physically. Then you add reality to the mix in huge doses. In Ecuador I wasnt having to cook or clean. We had a maid come in and our host did all the cooking for us. I am afraid I left my cooking mojo somewhere along the way. We have eaten supper at 8pm a few nights because I wait too long, get too busy, or just dont know what to cook. sigh. P hasnt complained. I just feel like I cant get anything done in a timely manner. Then if I am doing cleaning or laundry Im not keeping up with little G. Her room is babyproofed so she is fine in there but its hard for me to allow behaviors, which shall remain nameless, to go on without reprimand and I also feel like she needs to be stimulated or entertained. She takes an incredible nap but its hard for me to lie down when SO MUCH needs to be done!

Now....... on to the topic of affection and bonding. I am having a HARD time with others showing affection to her. I dont mind her meeting a friend or acquaintance and giving them a polite hug or such. But G DEMANDS to be held, snuggled, kissed and hugged. It takes my breath away and hurts my heart. I tend to just tell her no and explain to the person that we are in the process of bonding and learning appropriate affection for others. But it leaves me feeling guilt and such a pain in my heart to see the disappointment or questioning look on their face. These are my friends. These are people that have prayed for her. Prayed for two years with us! I know they are just aching to be a part of her life too...... Many times after two or three times I have given in and G gets her way.(not good) I am now fighting the urge to just stay home because its easier. I dont know why I didnt see all this coming, but we dont know what things will really look like on the other side do we? You have an idea, a dream. But reality sometimes looks different. Please be patient with me. I am feling like Ive been thrown in the ocean..... and I dont swim well mind you. I asked the orphanage director what she thought of all of it and she said it sounded perfectly normal. Grace and I are just learning so much together. She said to just relax and float. Im trying.......

Here are the few tips Ive been given recently. let me know if you have any thoughts or ideas as we try to swim/float through such muddy waters.

Call Drs etc in advance and explain the situation so they are aware of our wishes.(last week we had an appt and I was upset that the whole time the Dr held and cuddled her. I did finally step in when G got overstimulated and plunked her in daddys lap- the Dr insisted it was fine. Not really... for me I mean.)

Many that have adopted older children have told us we need to stay at home as much as possible in the first 3-6 months to allow little G to settle into things. These children get overstimulated very easy and have been through alot of trauma in the transition. (so maybe my fight/flight response is helping?)


I feel Fall in the air...... the shadows are growing longer and there is a breeze. Might not be cool just yet but its coming......

I remain,
Under His wings,
Anna