A little creative break- what's going on in my studio

Joining up today over at Studio JRU.
its been too long ladies, thanks for not writing me off the list!

My mother and sister were in town last week.
Mom went shopping and bought Lil G two adorable outfits.
I'm not sure if its the same where you live,
But here in the South we love some big hair bows on our girls.
When I shop at Gymb@ree I like to splurge with a matching hair bow.
Since these outfits were purchased elsewhere I had to come up with a plan.
Off to a few crafty stores to purchase ribbon, hair clips and hunt up my glue gun.
Why is it that I never seem to put the hot glue gun away with the glue sticks?
I mean really.......
I used this tutorial
(I apologize that my blogger app doesn't make pretty links.
If someone knows how to make this IPad app work let me know) :
http://simplethings1.wordpress.com/2008/09/25/how-to-make-a-korker-hairbow/

And got busy.

Learning to Love- a book review

I pray this finds you and yours Savoring the moments of Holy Week.
(If you follow along you might be rewarded by an adorable photo, or two, of Lil G!)

I've recently read a book and would like to share the review.
I read ," Learning to Love" by Heidi and Rolland Baker

Stories about missionaries, God doing amazing things in Africa and seeing lives changed. What a beautiful back drop for a good book. This book was written by a husband and wife working together on the mission field, sometimes there is even an excerpt written by someone else on the team. I loved the topic of the book, Love has to be tangible first- someone can't hear the gospel if their stomachs are growling or they are in mind numbing pain. Heidi and her husband Rolland have actually put love in action building churches, putting their lives in danger daily, digging wells, bringing food and gifts to children that have never experienced Christmas, setting up orphanages and schools to give the children a hope and a future. 
I had a hard time writing this review because I believe in the message the authors are trying to convey, that you and I can be doing the same thing in our world. We don't have to work on a mission field to be meeting the real tangible needs of others and forming relationships that will make a difference. Sadly many of us are too busy running after the "American Dream" instead of being aware of the big picture. It's a message we need to be reminded of. 
I do have to comment on the book though and say that the writing was not fluid. I had a hard time following the story because it was snippets of stories then some scripture or exhortation. It didn't fit. It felt disjointed. I wanted to like it yet struggled to stay focused. There were many pictures throughout and I found those were a distraction as well. Maybe if they had been put at the beginning of each "chapter" or in a cluster in the middle or back of the book ? This is the reason I will only give the book 3 stars. 
I want to end this review by stating there are many beautiful quotes and paragraphs of encouragement that are highlighted in my copy. Specifically one paragraph that really touched me where Im at. You see, we adopted Lil G 2.5 years ago and I see stories of other families doing the same thing- yet adopting more children and serving in big ministries as well. I struggle that I am not doing more. 

Pg 142 speaking of Jesus, " He stopped over and over again for just one person, for just one life. (Emphasis on one) God is looking for laid- down lovers who will give themselves up for just one person. I truly believe that in heaven, your reward will be just as great if you really loved one person, as if you saw a million people give their hearts to Jesus."

I will close by thanking Bethany House Publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book. I was in no way compensated for this review and the opinion expressed here is completely my own. 

Now for a few cute pictures of our silly Lil G! 

Food

I was reading a blog post today and had an, "Aha!" Moment.
You know, lightbulb going off.
Slapping your forehead thinking, "duh
I read over at, "the blessing of verity"
Mama is posting of all the progress that is being made at their house.
Beautiful post through the eyes if Katie.

Here is what was said,
"Oh yes, here’s more progress. My family has noticed that I’m getting pickier about food. Do you know what that means? Only prosperous people have the luxury of being picky about food. My pickiness is saying loud and clear that I am feeling all the way secure that there is plenty of food, more food than I need, all the time, and I don’t have to worry about being hungry any more. So Mom is happy that I’m picky!"

We have had so many battles over food since lil Gs bout with seizures last June,
I had forgotten that she is an," Orphan no more!".
She no longer needs to fill emotional holes with food.
She can decide she simply doesn't like what is being served,
There will be another meal, or healthy snack later.
(I'm not saying she ever went without, the children were well fed at her Orphanage)
She can also choose not to eat, simply because she isn't hungry.
Thank you Adaye for the reminder.
http://theblessingofverity.com/2013/03/hi-everybody-its-me-katie/

Lil G enjoying cooking food for breakfast.
And eating her supper.

What have we been up to?

The past few weeks have been crazy- full.
Last week I was able to get G's pleat neck tunic done!
It really looks adorable on her.
I am so glad I ripped it out and reknit it.
(See adorable photos below)

I finally had my outpatient surgery on Friday and I'm on the mend.
I hope this will indeed help resolve the anemia I've been having.
The Dr said it could take three to six months for my iron stores to be rebuilt.
(More adorable photos of lil G doctoring mama and baby doll)

I also received a book to review and read it in only 4 days!
It was so so good!
The book I read is titled "Firefly island" by Lisa Wingate.
Firefly Island is an easy read, filled with romance, and action- lots of suspense and drama.
The author grabbed my attention in the first paragraph and held it tightly in her grasp until the last word.
The main character, 30-something working in DC and educated, is swept off her feet by a handsome man. He has an adorable son whom she falls in love with as well which only adds to the sweetness of the story.
He gets offered a job in Texas so they plan a whirlwind wedding.
Much to their dismay things aren't as they had hoped for when they arrive in Tx.
They learn how to be a family and make a home together in the midst of small town politics and drama. I loved getting to know the folks from Moses Lake and was so sad to see the story come to an end.
This book was written as part of a series, thankfully it stands well alone but the other two, "Larkspur cove " and "Blue Moon Bay" are now on my must read list.
Thank you Bethany House for sending me the review copy of this book.

Dr Seuss week

Lil G received a package in the mail yesterday,
Someone special had been thinking of us,
And decided to send some Braille books Her son had outgrown
I am so thankful God placed three families in our lives
That had children that were blind.
Before we adopted Lil G.

One of the books was a Dr Seuss book.
I have to admit I was sad that we didn't have any of his books
In Braille when literacy / Dr Seuss week approached.
Being the kind of girl that doesn't keep close tabs on her calendar
Once I realized it, it was too late to order a few.
I think that is one thing that makes me sad about our new adventure
I can't just go to a big box store a grab a few books.
I have a thing for books, can't seem to get enough.

T@rget had some on sale awhile back and you don't know
how hard it was to control the shopping cart as it veered in that direction!
There are a few companies that produce books in Braille
I'm thinking about earmarking some $$ each month
Towards purchasing a few at a time.
Lil G can see well enough to see the pictures in the books we have
I'm not sure how well. Bright colors help.
(And the new high strength bifocal in her glasses has helped)
The thing we have to remember is that using her vision is tiring.
The nystagmus and strabismus must be very frustrating,
Nystagmus is the eyes vibrating involuntarily. This is due to her brain not interpreting vision.
We are hoping the new prescription will help with the strabismus, the eyes being crossed.
Surgery might be in the future for that once again. She already has increased like hood of glaucoma so if its only going to be for cosmetic reasons her father and I have discussed not having it done. That is up for discussion at our follow up appointment.

Grace reading her Dr Seuss book,
Feeling the bumps.

Yarn along- to honor and trust

Today Im linking up with Ginny @ Small things.
I enjoy reading and knitting so Wednesday's are a perfect combination for me.

I will start with a book review.
"To honor and trust" by Tracie Peterson and Judith Miller
I was so happy to be chosen to review this book. I have already read the first book in the series so I was looking forward to reading this continuation of the Bridal Veil Island series. As I read the story I realized that none of the characters would be the same. This has its pros and cons, I suppose another reader might enjoy the fact that they could read this book as a stand alone, or could be disappointed that it wasn't a continuation of the series. I wanted to enjoy this book but the plot was so shallow that I found myself reading it in hopes of finding the good part. From the beginning of the story nothing was left to the imagination so I felt bored knowing that I had already figured out who the antagonist was and how the story would play out.
The redeeming qualities of this novel were the relationship with the main character Callie and her employers, and the children she was hired to teach. I loved the descriptions of the setting, bridal veil island and many times could imagine the beautiful shore and wildlife. If you are looking for a book that reads easy, for a trip to the beach or poolside this would be a perfect choice. But if you are like me and enjoy a book with a deep plot and that keeps you guessing you might want to skip this one.
Thank you to Bethany House Publishers for the review copy of this book. The opinion shared here is completely my own.

Next I will say that my pleat neck Tunic for Lil G is coming along nicely. The pattern was written by Debbie Bliss and is in the Spring/summer 2010 magazine. The pattern was written for a child up to a 3T which is what I started knitting it in. Being a smarty pants I decided to rip it out a few weeks ago, this is being knit in a size 3 needle so it does take time, I was about 3/4 done when I ripped out but felt like if I wasn't happy it wouldn't be worn as often as if I was pleased with the outcome. Who wants to spend money on fine yarn and the time to knit it up on size 3 needles and not be happy?! Not me! I have knit it in the round and added stitches to the cast on to allow for size, Lil G wears a 6x now. I've also added several inches to the length so she might be able to wear it for ore than one season! I think I should be able to separate the front and back stitches today and possibly share photos of Lil G wearing it next week! ( if you check out the photo in the magazine you will see the model wearing adorable cotton eyelet pants with it. Yes, I have purchased a pattern and eyelet with the decorative edging to make the pants! So adorable!)

I am still reading the book on Orientation and mobility by Joseph Cutter. This book is a must have for any family that has a child that has visual impairments/ blindness. I am. Reading it slowly, processing the information and emotions that come along with understanding what has been a mystery.

Have a beautiful week!
I remain Under His wings,
Anna

New school tools!

If you've been following our adventure for any amount of time you will know that we've recently learned that Grace was born with congenital cataracts, she has no lenses, therefore she is blind - since her vision was not corrected all along she is also blind with her glasses.
Since the new diagnosis in September I have had to shuffle some of our school goals around. What will literacy look like for Lil G?
She has incredible "functional vision", meaning: she has learned how to function well with the vision she has. Here is more about how that is measured if you would like to learn more http://www.perkins.org/resources/scout/vision-and-blindness/functional-vision-assessmen.html

Since she does so well I am fighting an uphill battle when I express my desire for G to learn Braille. The fact of the matter is, Braille isn't easy. Secondly, many of the teachers that work with children that have visual impairment don't read Braille or know how to teach it. With technology abounding Braille seems to be an outdated way for those that are visually impaired to read and write. Third, lil G has Down syndrome, I often forget about this diagnosis so I can become hypersensitive to the thought that it would even be part of the equation. Sadly I think that it is, it would be much easier to teach her to use the remaining vision she has and only learn to read with magnification devices, read books on her computer in extra large print, and have audio books. But as her mother I need to take everything into consideration and that means teaching Braille. She is blind and Braille is the mode of literacy for people that are blind. It's as simple as that. It doesn't matter how long it takes for mastery, but I believe that she can do it and that it would be much easier to start the learning process now rather than waiting until she develops another eye condition rendering her completely blind, the facts are there. She is at a higher risk for glaucoma and other eye conditions.

Today we are placing Braille ABC stickers on her leap frog fridge magnets and in a few books
And repurposing them. We will also read a few of her new books, books filled with textures and Braille to develop sensitivity in her tiny little fingers.

Angst

angst
/aNG(k)st/ Noun
A feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.
A feeling of persistent worry about something trivial.
Synonyms: anxiety

I went to an adoption ceremony today.
Sometimes I wonder what gets into my head to lead me to believe I can do things like this
Outings With Lil G, on my own.
I forget that it's all I can do to get dressed and out the door without feeling Like I had been hit by a Mack truck. No joke.

I really wanted to support this friend,
It was scheduled for 3:30 pm so not like it was 8 am or something.
I left around noon, we grabbed some lunch,
I ran by a store to purchase another fitted sheet for our bed with their 20% off coupon.
Picked up a gift real quick since it was a last minute plan.
(I didn't know the ceremony was today till last night)

We had to find parking, then oh my gosh,"do I even have any change?! " for the meter.
The wind was crazy. It made me feel frazzled with every hair blowing a different direction.
Purple hair I might add.
I .kid. you. not. (Thank God it's semi permanent. Didn't have time to wash it with color oops. )
Where was I.....
Okay, so I locked G in the car , radio on and bucked in her carseat to jog three car lengths down to pay the machine and get my receipt. (Whoever thought of this idea is not a parent of a child with special needs) jog back, got the stroller, coats on, camera bag, huge mom purse ,and child)
Walked/ran up the sidewalk
inside the door - a fiasco in itself!
to find security checks, duh.
Welcome to reality.
So the judges chambers is on the sixth floor.
Have I told you I have a fear of heights?
There was no time for that. I pushed the number six and tried to pretend that I was holding my husbands strong arm. Got off the elevator to see the family waiting to hear, " oh we are so glad you made it! The judge is ready. I was just getting ready to call and see where you were.
If Id known I would've left 30 min just for parking and getting inside!

So we enter the chambers and Lil G is full of herself.
I'm not joking when I tell you I asked her to use her inside voice a thousand times.
I was so embarrassed and still wearing my leather coat,
I broke out in a sweat and could literally feel my whole body radiating.
Call it what you want, a personal season, menopause, anxiety.....
It was all I could do to not start sobbing.
I felt like excusing myself. But I couldn't move.

We drove home. Complete silence.
No radio. All I said was ," mommy is not happy."
After sobbing for about 30 mins, while laughing.
Go figure. I still feel on the verge of tears.
Some days I just don't know how I thought I could do this.
I get taken so far past my comfort zone I don't know how I don't break,
Except for the grace of God.......
Some days it's all grace isn't it.......

Yarn Along

It's a rainy day,
Perfect for a hot cup of coffee,
Knitting in hand- pleat neck tunic by Debbie Bliss. (Knitting in the round)
And a new book , " Independent movement and travel in Blind Children".
So far it's been full of helpful information that sheds light into our situation.
Things unrelated to traveling with a white cane.
For instance,
I have complained many many times about lil Gs thrill over throwing her toys.
I had wondered if it somehow was linked to her being blind or being raised in an orphanage-
Or both.
I think I have found it! It's a process called echolocation.
I had never heard of this process so I find it very interesting,
A blind baby slapping their hand on the tile floor is using echolocation-
Using the echo, sounds, to gather information about their surroundings.
So, quite possibly she had learned this helpful way of throwing toys to learn about the toy,
Gravity, and the surroundings she happened to be in.
I have been working with her to redirect her - to change this behavior.
I am wondering now,
obviously throwing whatever happens to be in her hand at the moment
isn't appropriate behavior for a 7 year old.
But it seems like we are re creating the wheel somewhat with this child.
I am hoping that as we surround ourselves with parents of blind children,
as we learn more about Down syndrome, that we are able to determine what is best for little G.
Because truthfully she isn't typical, she doesn't just have Down syndrome. This is different and must be carefully considered. The whole person, not just parts.

The answers to the questions have been difficult,
But I am oh so thankful I had already pondered them -
What would this look like?
How would the answers change our approach, dreams, expectations?
Every once in awhile a deep aching sorrow swells in my heart,
My child is blind,
This is what our future looks like.
No more dreams of a future lens transplant.
No more Wondering if I am really making the wrong choices
by being adamant about Braille
Along with large print, and magnification.
And using a cane.......

So if you happen to be with me, don't be surprised if I randomly start sobbing.
I am really okay,
Just having a mama moment.

Happy Valentines day!

"When She Loved Me" -- Sarah MacLachlan

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful.
Every hour we spent together
Lives within my heart.

And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears.
And when she was happy so was I.
When she loved me.

Through the summer and the fall
we had each other, that was all.
Just she and I together,
like it was meant to be.

And when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her.
And I knew that she loved me.

So the years went by.
I stayed the same,
But she began to drift away
I was left alone.
Still I waited for the day
When she'd say "I will always love you."

Lonely and forgotten,
Never thought she'd look my way.
And she smiled at me and held me
Just like she used to do.
Like she loved me.
When she loved me.

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful.
Every hour we spent together
Lives within my heart.
When she loved me...


A few posts ago I mentioned Lil G goes through phases in her "favorite movie" choices.
Lately it's been Toy Story 2.
I can barely breathe each time Jessie sings this song.
Being A mama again,
Adopting a child from an orphanage.
It is beautiful.
Hoping you had a great day showering those you love
With chocolate and treats, tangible and intangible "I love you"s
We did......l

Packages in the mail

"Free Matter for the blind"
That is what Lil Gs recent deliveries look like.
Please forgive me while I continue to process this.
A diagnosis of Down Syndrome is one thing,
But the diagnosis of Legally Blind.
A whole new ball game.
Don't get me wrong.
It hasn't changed much in "parenting 101".

I am just amazed at what this looks like.
You know, services that are a "legal right".
I have been trying to move full steam ahead
Advocating,
Making phone calls, sending e-mails.
Today I had a nice whirlwind conversation with someone at NFB.
(NFB- National Federation of the Blind)
It was very enlightening.
She confirmed my gut instincts.
And I don't even like when the thought comes to mind,
Much less sharing it.
Thankfully I didn't have to.
She knew, she has worked as a special Education teacher
and as a teacher for the visually impaired.
She could voice what I couldn't even allow myself to think.

It's all about perceptions,
If my beautiful little girl had one diagnosis,
It would certainly be an uphill battle.
Any of my fellow bloggers that still might happen to read my posts
with a child that has DS can attest to this fact.
But the fact of the matter is that she has three.
Line them up in a row.....
Well, now I understand their shock and amazement
When I nonchalantly mentioned she knew 400 ASL signs
And used them fluently.
How shocking that a little girl with English as her second language
A little girl with epilepsy
And Down syndrome
And that is legally blind
Could possibly accomplish such a feat?!
gasp! In two years no less!
Then in the same breath they tell me she is better off in their public school setting.
With trained professionals.
Please excuse my sarcasm.

Lets just say I am prepared to feel underwhelmed with the services they might decide to offer.

"Braille?! You would need a letter from her Dr stating her vision would worsen for us to consider that. " What?! Let me get this right she has only 10% of the vision the rest of us have. It has to worsen? "We will do the evaluations in her home environment where she is most comfortable to determine if she needs Orientation and mobility." ( learning to become independent in unfamiliar surroundings and how to use a cane.)

Let me tell you that she gets around pretty well for a "poor little blind child".
She's had her fingers shut in doors enough times and fallen and skinned her knees enough to learn how to avoid that scenario. But put her in a crowded mall, or walking on a sidewalk, she can't assume the lines or variance means nothing. She needs to be holding a hand or hear the words,"it's okay. " to know its just a pattern.
I will continue to march forward.
With or without their help or approval.

Favorite movie?

Lil G goes through phases.
Our first "favorite" movie was Finding Nemo,
Then she moved on to Beauty and the Beast,
Presently her favorite is Polar express.
(She will watch Monsters Inc and toy story 1 and 2)
I am happy her attention span has grown
And we are able to learn her preferences.
Here she is getting into character

Opposites

“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.”

~Pablo Picasso (Spanish Artist and Painter. 1881-1973)



As an artist these words resonate deep within.
As a parent, deeper still.
Then when you add teaching artist......

Icing on the cake.

I have been trying to figure out how I could end up with a child
that is such an extrovert- when I feel like an introvert
A child that is legally blind -and I am an artist.
A child that I am struggling with the powers that be to have her learn Braille, and I am a book reviewer. I have shelves and shelves of books in print.
It's amazing to me that the things that are my passion,
Are the areas in her life that She needs help in the most.
And vice versa.


Grace and papa having a tickle fest.
(Pre RSV. )
I love her showing him her belly button.
Then sticking his finger in it! She kills me

RSV

If you are wondering where we have been this week and don't see my FB updates,
We've been battling RSV.
This has not been fun my friends.
I had an appointment scheduled for myself so instead of papa going with me to hold my hand
He took little G to her appointment and then stayed home to care for her.
She is a literal mucus factory,
Yuck, yuck and yuck!
Fever, mucus and coughing.
Can we all say miserable?!
We added breathing treatments with the nebulizer because of wheezing
It's been a looooong time since I've done this.
You add the severe anemia,
I am dragging my tail behind me
We've been watching lots of Polar Express.
"Train train" she signs.
(See photos below of her in her Santa hat! Last night in a high from ventolin!)
It helps to get into character when watching movies!
It's also nice sleeping sitting up in mamas arms.
The days have been long and hard
But filled with love and joy-
I wouldn't trade the pitter patter of little feet in our house for anything!

A few grace filled moments

Lil G had a big day.
We were glad to be able to attend ladies bible study.
We haven't been studying the Bible per-se
The book is called "unglued" by Lisa Tyrkhurst.
A slow starter but filled with awesome helps for mamas
Burning the candle at both ends -on the verge of "loosing it" daily.
Today was the last day for that study........
I was touched when Lil G did her happy dance as we got out of the car
and headed up the sidewalk.

From there we went to get her new glasses.
I can't say enough about the awesome staff at our optometrist office.


Then we grabbed lunch and headed to ballet.
Happy dance number two.
She was pretty difficult.
Used up about every ounce of patience I had left.
But as her dance teacher said,
"we are all allowed to have a bad day every now and again. Today is her day."
Here are photos of her in her new red Silhouette glasses and an unexpected nap.
She quit moving for a few minutes and it was like someone flipped the switch!
You could count the number of times I've held her while she slept on one hand.
An unexpected blessing for today.