Magic Erasers......

I just sat here and read back in my blog.
Its so neat to watch what happened in the beginning and where we are now..... the almost two years of praying and grieving to bring a little one home. I think it seemed harder because it was the second child that had touched our hearts.

It was such an emotional place to be for such a long time.....
I am working through it.....
Just wondering how other adoptive mothers "get on with things".
I came home from Ecuador with a new child and ALOT of change......
Some things have been said and gone on "behind the scenes".

Ive been talking with my oldest daughter lately about a few things on my mind and she brought me a book she read called "boundaries". I am going to start reading it this week. Ive also discussed this with my doctor at my visit and will follow up with her the first week of March. I want to be in a different place........

I am finding that I take case of watching out for others feelings before my own.
Some things need to be addressed
A few people need to be told how their words or actions have hurt me instead of just smiling nicely and pretending it never happened. I dont want to stay stuck in this place I am.

This is not a healthy place for me to be.
Ive always run from confrontation.
Been afraid of hurting others.
Been afraid of their anger or displeasure.
But what is the cost of continually being this person that I am......
I think the price is too high.
I am just praying that with this book
and the Lords help,
I can have some answers
ways to fix old patterns and behaviors....

Makes me thing of one of my favorite housecleaning products.
I find so many stubborn scuff and stuck on things that it will get off.....
Just looking for a magic eraser for my heart and mind.....

I remain,
Under His wings,
Anna