Sitting here at my desk clicking on photos,
rich with color,
vibrant hopes and dreams leaping off my screen
Filling my heart to overflowing
streaming down my face
wetting the soul
A year ago today,
Farewell hugs were exchanged,
Beautiful women could not speak what was on their hearts
They could not understand the words I was speaking
nor me theirs
but our eyes spoke volumes
"if you only knew how long it took for us to get here."
"She likes her cereal warm, not too hot."
"I thank you for rocking her when she was sick."
"she enjoys watching Barney first thing in the morning. Even before breakfast"
"Thank you for making sure she was potty trained before we arrived"
"She doesnt like her bathwater too warm."
"thank you for showing her our pictures and telling her of us"
"she doesnt like animal cookies" (ha ha! You know, she might have liked them then! We laugh now that she refuses to eat animal crackers, "those are orphanage food.")
We would just stand there
tears streaming down our faces
but didnt have words to share the intimacies of raising this little one.
Yet, I feel like the Holy Spirit in us was working overtime,
teaching us what we needed to know,
I see these photos of my men.
I remember wishing my adult children were there.
So that my full heart could see all my family,
on such hallowed ground.
Eric down in the dirt playing with little boys,
no language needed.
Just boys and dirt.
Its funny how God created us from Earth.....
How men/boys have a a lot of dirty work in life.
Darling darling little one.....
oh how I miss your beautiful face.
There are no words to express how I feel about leaving you behind.
I know many of you might not understand.
But when youve been there,
adopting one doesnt feel like enough.
It seems so so small.
I find such joy in my heart when I hear of families working hard to make the journey we made.
To hear a name,
remember the child.....
they have a mommy and a daddy
Praying for those we had to leave behind........